


Catch of the Day

by Topographical_Map_Of_Utah



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: A little bit of witchcraft, Animal Transformation, Bottom Finn, Cat BB-8, Chubby Poe Dameron, First Time, Fisherman Finn, M/M, MayGlenn you know dang well why this is for you, Merpeople, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:45:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9459782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah/pseuds/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah
Summary: A cat steals Finn's favourite glove, and things sort of escalate from there.TuppingLiberty you gotta stop giving me plotbunnies i can't take care of them all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MayGlenn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayGlenn/gifts).



_Up where they walk, up where they run_  
_Up where they stay all day in the sun_

_Wanderin' free, wish I could be_  
_Part of that world..._

Finn shook his head, trying to get the damn song out of his head. Having a Disney binge at two in the morning had been a mistake, evidently. Still humming begrudgingly to himself, he fell into step with the rhythmic crash of waves against the worn stone embankment, the brick and mortar that kept the marina from being drawn out to sea.

Would it be so bad if that did happen, though? After all, he was pretty sure the little takeaway place he ran with his roommate could be converted into a raft. If that was the case, they would be more than set. He could fish as usual, and Rey would find a way to convert one of their fryers into a motor or something. She always claimed that having no romantic interest in anybody gave her time to do stuff like that. 

He was drawn out of his dreamy musing by the feeling of eyes on him, the occasional giggle from passersby. Finn was used to being scrutinised, so he could tell the difference between malice and amusement. Right now he was definitely experiencing the latter. Wondering what all the fuss was about Finn stopped walking in time for something soft and purring to curl itself around his ankle. 

_Aha._

"And what do _you_ want?" he asked, crouching and letting the kitten nuzzle against his hand. This happened often enough. Stray cats had a fondness for fishermen, go figure. Funny, because this one didn't look like a stray. She looked downright _coddled_ , a chubby little ball of silky fur and round black eyes practically begging for Finn to bring her home. It was a very effective look, but Finn managed to resist it, somehow.

"Sorry, little guy. Landlord only lets us have fish...Hey!" Without warning the cat yanked Finn's favourite red glove right out of his pocket, running away with it clutched daintily in her jaw and hopping straight off of the wharf with surprising grace. Finn cussed and scrambled after her, landing with a thud on the thin strip of pebbly beach below. Call him sentimental, but he had lost the glove's partner a couple days ago, and he wasn't about to settle for the drab grey ones he kept as reluctant backups. 

"There you are." he said triumphantly after a chase that took all of two feet. The kitten seemed to be cornered, sea on two sides, wall on one, and no way out. Then she squeaked at him and darted leftward, straight into what Finn had assumed was the wall. Turns out there was a doorway that had been bricked up, but time and the tide had caused the mortar to weaken and dissolve, leaving a gaping hole that led who knew where. Finn could just squeeze through the small space, into a dark, dripping passage that reeked of dead fish and crusting salt. At this point he wasn't really sure why he was still following that cat. Maybe he hadn't outgrown that incorrigible childhood curiosity quite yet.

He emerged a moment later under the pier itself, in a little cove tucked away from the hustle and bustle that never stopped just above it. Sure enough, when Finn looked up he saw the outline of people's soles through the thin gaps in the wood, could see the occasional flicker of red when a snubbed cigarette fell through the cracks and sizzled out on the glassy emerald water. The cat mewled behind him and Finn turned with a start. How long had all this been here? 

Even at high tide, the little outcropping they stood on was safe and dry, the perfect spot for a kitten, really. Someone had made a cozy little bed for her out of fraying beach towels and what looked to be fabric from an old umbrella. Dulse was drying on a rock nearby, and there was even a carved shelf holding jars and trinkets and stack of mismatched plates, the thick plastic kind you forget at picnics and barbecues. Someone spent a lot of time down here, from the look of things. Finn would figure that this was some kid's hideout, but what kid harvested dulse? Or listened to Kenny Loggins, he thought, glancing at the crackling radio that same someone had obviously spent awhile tinkering with. It struck him that all of this stuff could be found within ten feet of the shoreline. Didn't quite know what to take from that, though.

"You've got quite the setup." Finn commented as the cat placed his glove in her bed. There was some splashing behind him that Finn ignored, figuring it was just waves hitting the rocks, a seagull taking flight, nothing out of the ordinary. "You're just a spoiled little princess, aren't you?" 

"Hey, don't be rude."  

Well, that was decidedly unordinary. The unfamiliar voice made Finn jump a good foot in the air and land facedown on the sand. Yeah, he really knew how to make an impression. Heat rose in his cheeks he rolled over, spitting up sand and grumbling under his breath about how maybe sneaking up on people isn't the best way to announce yourself whoever the fuck you are and-

And then he saw the guy grinning at him over the ridge of a half-submerged rock and fell silent. He seemed to be considering Finn, dark eyes bright and crinkled in delight. Light from the setting sun was playing tricks on his tan skin, dashing it with strange speckles of orange and white. It would be unsettling if it wasn't so damn pretty.

A few other things about the stranger caught Finn's eye. Firstly: _attractive_. Secondly, Finn couldn't help but notice that said stranger wasn't wearing a shirt. In January. In the ocean. At six at night. Finn would be lying if he claimed this didn't confuse him at least a little bit.

"Dude, do you _want_ hypothermia?" he managed, coughing up a few more grains of sand as he spoke. The stranger just laughed, the sound like the tide rolling in and out. Not the frigid tide of Cape Cod, though. His voice belonged to balmier climates.

"I'll be fine." The presumably insane stranger shrugged and tucked his floppy black hair behind his ear. His unusually pointy ear. Now hold on just a minute. 

"You're not..." Finn's mouth went dry and all the strange little details about his acquaintance started to fit together. The spots on his arms and shoulders were scales. His hands sported some very impressive claws. And if Finn wasn't mistaken, there were fangs concealed behind those smiling lips.

"You're a merman."

"Last I checked."  The merman - Finn took a moment to let that sink in - confirmed with another one of his sunshine laughs. Then he saw Finn's glove poking out of the cat's bed and his face lit up with recognition. "Oh, that red thing from a couple days ago was yours? Sorry 'bout that. Didn't know what it was. My cat used it as a chew toy." he explained, nodding at the ball of orange and white fur that was still nipping at Finn's glove. 

"You have a cat." What the fuck was happening.

"Well, she's not really _my_ cat. I just feed her and pet her and stuff. She doesn't live with me, obviously." The feline in question waddled away from Finn and hopped up onto the rock with her not-quite owner, purring as she rubbed against his arm. 

"You're not worried she's gonna try and eat you?"

"Not gonna lie, there have been some close calls. I think she's over that stage now. There was a time, though..." As proof he raised his tail out of the water and pointed out a bite mark in his glistening orange fin. "Snuck up on me one day while i was sunning, figured I was cat chow. Which I'm not, by the way. Wait, you don't even know who I am. I'm Poe."

"Finn." he was too busy staring at Poe's tail to say much else. Not as fishy as he had imagined. It looked more like a seal or a dolphin tail, sleek and shiny, more skin than scale. When Poe dropped it back into the water with a little splash Finn nodded again. Because this was a perfectly normal thing to happen.

"Then hello, Finn. Hey, you work at that blue and green restaurant on the docks, don't you? Falcon or something? The one with the picnic tables and classical music." Finn nodded and Poe smiled, revealing an endearing gap between his front fangs. Did those words go together? "Knew there was a reason I liked you. Man, I always wanted to try your guys' chowder. Smells great..."

"I'll bring you a cup, sometime." Finn offered, reaching into the cat's bed and retrieving his glove while he could. "If you'd want that, I mean..."

"Really? Wait, does that mean you're coming back?" 

"Yeah. It's not out of the way or anything. I literally live right there." Finn nodded at the apartment complex that was barely visible from where he was standing. "And I work even closer, so yeah, I guess I'm coming back."

"Well, I'm always around, and you're always welcome." Poe hummed, sliding up onto the rock and laying back with easy confidence. It was the kind of self-assuredness that had Finn feeling overdressed in his ratty hoodie and jeans. At least he wasn't in his bright yellow waders. Who knew how Poe felt about fishermen. "See you around, Finn." he yawned, eyes still closed.

"See you." Finn agreed, backing away before the cat could notice what he had taken. The last glimpse he got was the sunset glowing on the defined ridges of Poe's face and the cat napping on his rounded belly. Something twisted up in Finn's chest and he scurried off, cheeks burning like a furnace.

_You are not thinking about getting naked with the fishman._  Finn told himself as he climbed back onto the marina and hurried back to the shop. _Stop thinking about getting naked with the fishman._

 

\--------

 

Rey looked up from her notebook when she noticed Finn approaching, her thin face lighting up in a smile. "Did you get us dinner?" she asked as she started to lock up, voice perky and hopeful.

"Did I..." Oh, right, that's why she had sent him out in the first place. "Shit, sorry. Got distracted. I'll make something when we get home."

"Yeah, you will." she agreed, chewing on her lower lip as she traced a glowing sigil on the doorway. Besides the security alarm her dad had installed for them, Rey felt the need to employ her own, more arcane measures. Unfortunately, she didn't always feel the need to warn Finn about said measures. One day he had walked inside and wound up cursed with the equivalent of a bad LSD trip. That had been an interesting experience.

"Are mermaids real, Rey?" The question burst out against Finn's will as Rey put the final touches on her latest ensnarement. Seems she came up with new curses on a weekly basis.

"'Course they are. Don't live in New England, though. Had the good sense to clear out back in the 17th century, I think it was. I know the burnings were going on when they left..." Rey's family of witches and warlocks, however, had stuck to their little patch of Massachusetts farmland as stubbornly as weeds. "Any reason you ask?" 

"Not really." He hooked his arm around her elbow and pulled her close, grinning when he smelled the oil and spices clinging to her hair and hand-me-down clothes. "Wondering what my chances were of hooking up with Ariel, that's all."

"Oh, you don't wanna do that. Rule of thumb for merfolk: If their bottom half's a fish, run. Let's just say it won't just be your dick in their mouth. If it looks like a cross between a seal and a dolphin you're fine. I hear the seal ones like belly rubs and sourdough bread." she added thoughtfully.

"Who the hell figured _that_ out?"

"I dunno. Someone who was real interested in gettin' some aquatic action, I guess."

"You're disgusting." Finn sighed, knowing that Rey couldn't hear him over the sound of her own laughter. After a suitable pause he gave her a squeeze and cleared his throat, hoping to sound casual. "Hey, the bakery's making a delivery tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"No reason."


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Babs. Where's your dad?" Finn laughed, stepping through the doorway and shaking the water out of his hair. The fluffy little kitten squinted at Finn from her makeshift bed and yawned, looking a little drunk off of the choppy yellow sunlight slanting into Poe's apartment. At least Finn called it an apartment. Poe thought of it more as his High Lonesome Place. The guy owned about six books wrapped carefully in plastic, and _The Guide to Troubled Birds_ was one of them. And yes, from his inflection Finn had gathered that the words were meant to be spelled with capital letters.

A few minutes later there was a telltale shift in the tide, little ripples announcing that something was coming. Finn put down Poe's copy of _The Wizard of Oz_ , smiling when the man himself surfaced a couple feet away, singing a sugary sweet pop song and toting what had to be the most waterlogged backpack on the planet.

When Poe wasn't playing with his cat or sunning he was scavenging, combing through the docks for odds and ends he found interesting, cleaning up the water, too. Once Finn saw him carefully cutting a six pack ring off of a seagull. Apparently he had decided the waters around the dock were his responsibility. Actually, that explained the little piles of dripping wet trash that Finn found around the docks. He had always wondered why someone would bother gathering up litter only to dump it someplace else. A mere two feet from a garbage can, in some cases.

"Hi." Poe slicked his hair back from his face and grinned at Finn, who was glad all of a sudden that Poe wouldn't be able to tell he was blushing.

"Hey. Find anything good?"

"Dunno yet. But I've got shells." Poe offered, holding out an open angel wing clam that bore the gloss of bone china, a handful of sand dollars, and a perfectly intact mermaid's purse. "Then there's some crap in my bag I could use some help sorting. You?"

"I've got dinner." Finn nodded at the little picnic he had set up for the two of them. Poe's eyes lit up when he saw his usual sourdough bowl of clam chowder sitting on the rock they used as a table. Two months after his first bite and he hadn't once changed his order. You'd think he'd have gotten sick of it by now. "And something else, too."

"More bread?" Poe asked. He was already halfway through his bowl. When the hell did that happen?"

"You've really got to broaden your horizons..." Humming, Finn pulled a plastic bag out of his backpack and grinned as he tossed it over to Poe, who stared with brow creased at the big ball of pink fluff Finn had just presented him with. Cotton candy didn't fare well in water, so Poe had never tried it.

"Is this the stuff you put in pillows?"

"No, you eat it. It's cotton candy. You'll like it, trust me."

"I see why it's called cotton. What I don't understand the candy part." Poe poked a hole in the bag, blinking when the mystery substance dissolved at his touch. "This's pure sugar." he realised, staring in disbelief as Finn casually popped a mouthful. "This's literally just sugar."

"Yeah. And?" Finn really didn't see a problem with Poe's observation.

"And you're eating _pure sugar_ , ya sea cucumber. This stuff's popular?" Finn nodded, quite enjoying the bewildered expression on Poe's face. He looked like he was seriously considering just swimming out to sea and never looking back. "Humans make up the weirdest shit." he sighed, accepting the chunk Finn offered him with cautious hands.

"We're a creative bunch, is all. How is it?"

"It's, um..." Poe blushed crimson as he quietly took another, bigger piece, stuffing it into his mouth before Finn could judge him too harshly. "I like it, I guess."

"Here." Poe's entire face lit up when Finn handed off the whole bag. Good thing he had had the foresight to buy another one for himself.

The second bag was gone by the time the sun began to dip into the horizon. Finn placed the last of the fished-up trinkets on the shelf just as the sky began to turn the same orange as Poe's scales. This was how he spent most evenings, as of late. Cleaning Poe's finds, arranging the shelves. He found himself enjoying the domesticity of it.

Finn had even taken it upon himself to spruce the apartment up a little bit, add stuff that Poe wouldn't be able to find abandoned on beaches or washed up by the docks. Now Poe had a potted camellia and Babs had her very own scratching post. After a little bit of feuding with himself Finn even handed over his Game Boy Color and old Pokemon Red cartridge, a personal sacrifice he felt most keenly. Although watching Poe play was a pretty good tradeoff. He wiggled whenever he caught something or won a battle. And after fiddling and fumbling for a couple days he got the hang of the buttons pretty well, powering through most of it in a little under a day. He seemed to be caught up in a battle right now, tapping his tail impatiently on the ground and grumbling at the screen.

"Get in the ball, you little--Oh, sweet. Good kitty."

"What'd you catch?"

"Dunno. Naming it after Babs, though. It's a funny looking cat thing, I think." He held the console out for Finn's inspection, cocking his eyebrow when Finn's jaw went slack and his eyes went wide. He dropped down beside Poe and stared for a minute, appearing to have almost gone into shock.

"You caught Mewtwo."

"Yeah?"

"How the _fuck_ did you catch Mewtwo?"

"With a Master ball."

"Never mind..." Finn leant against Poe and shook his head in resignation. This guy was something else, literally and figuratively, Finn remembered, feeling Poe's scales rasp against his wrist. "Hey, how come I've never seen anyone else like you?"

"Somebody who caught Mewtwo?"

"'Cause that's the most noteworthy thing about you. Catching Mewtwo..." Seems as though Poe was starting to like that title. For a guy who was part fish, he sure had good luck with cats. Even the pixelated ones. "I'm talking about the merman thing, dumbass. Don't you have a bunch of buddies to sing musical numbers with?"

"I don't sing." Yeah, and Finn didn't smell like cod liver oil 24/7. "There _are_ more of us, though. I was part of a colony down south. Gulf of Honduras, I think you guys called it. I swam off during a storm when I was a kid and got caught in the current. Haven't spoken to anyone like me since. Haven't really spoken to many people at all, actually. At least not up here. Made a couple friends in Belize and Georgia, but that was a long time ago."

"So it's just you and Babs, huh?"

"Just me and Babs." Poe confirmed, watching the kitten stalk his swishing tail, thinking herself a lion readying to pounce. "If it weren't for her I'd be long gone, by now."

"Back down south? How many times have you made the trip?"

"If I left today, that would make twenty-two."

"And you've never seen anyone like you?"

"Not once." Poe said quietly. For a moment he looked so lost and lonely that Finn couldn't help what happened next. Like the idiot he was he leant in and pressed his lips to Poe's ear, the pointy little ridge that had first tipped him off that something was amiss. It lasted less than a second. Finn pulled away as quickly he had leant in, like he had just touched something to see if it was hot and wound up burning himself.

"Sorry. Poor impulse control." he blurted out. Poe raised an eyebrow, and Finn cleared his throat, scrambling for an explanation. "No. Bad excuse. I shouldn't make excuses. Sorry. For the excuses. And for the kissing. Just sorry. In general."

"You done?" Poe asked. Finn nodded, shame burning in his cheeks. "Okay. Just making sure."

And then Poe was kissing him, and the first thought Finn had was _salt_. Poe tasted like the ocean, like the smell of sun-warmed wood and open air. It seemed the sea had seeped into his every pore. It made sense, really. He'd spent most of his life soaking in it. Finn registered all that first, and then he realised that he felt a whole lot better, having Poe's lips on his. Hopefully this would become a commonplace occurrence. Finn would have no problem with it, he decided as Poe manoeuvred himself into his lap without letting up on the kissing. No problem at all.

 

\----------

 

Finn was fully aware that his courtship with Poe bore an uncanny resemblance to your typical playground romance. Trading trinkets, sharing food, giggling and teasing whenever they ventured to hold hands. Very mature, and not that different from the friendship it had sprung from.

The only difference now was that Poe seemed to have made it his mission to sneak as many off-guard kisses as he could. One time, and he knew he would tell this story for years to come, Finn had leant down to investigate some splashing at the edge of the apartment and Poe had breached the water's surface without warning, pulling him into a kiss that wound up going underwater. At least Finn knew how to swim.

When he stepped inside on a particularly stormy Friday evening he expected that to be the case again. The tide was low and Poe was nowhere in sight, so Finn skirted the edge of the cove, cautiously waiting for Poe to jumpscare him. Which he did, kind of.

“Jesus _Christ_ , Poe.” Finn scrambled down a rocky outcropping, following the trail of bright red blood he had discovered drying on the sand. If Poe wasn’t already dead he was in for it, Finn swore to God. “Poe? Poe!”

“Hey, sweetheart.” Poe called back, voice a little weaker than usual. He was curled up in a little tide pool, Babs licking at a gash in his arm. Suddenly Finn didn’t really feel like chewing him out. Instead he just sighed and went about cleaning Poe up, tugging off his sweater and using his t-shirt as a bandage. "Don’t pick fights with Great Whites." Poe advised weakly. “Just don’t do it.”

Finn nodded, his brow creased up in worry. The water around Poe was a concerning shade of dark green, red swirling in with the blue. It wasn't excessive, but still. It would be a rough night, and Finn wasn’t sure how well Poe would take it. After going back and forth with himself for a little while Finn swept Poe’s hair back from his face and grinned a little bit. He couldn’t believe he was doing this.

“Hey, how well do you do out of water?"

"Should be fine. Why d'you ask?"

 

\----------

 

"I can't believe you carried me all the way here..."

"Hauling around fish is my job." Finn pointed out as he tried not to slip on the bathroom floor. It was no use trying to hide the strain in his voice. He set Poe down in the bathtub with a grunt, taking a minute to rub the stiffness out of his shoulders and to watch Poe slide around on the cracked porcelain in an attempt to get his footing. Fining? Finn wasn't quite sure what the term was.

Getting here had been quite the process. Even though the apartment he shared with Rey was barely two blocks away, lugging around a mythical creature who weighed a good two hundred pounds made the trip feel like a damn Tolkien novel. It hadn't gotten any better when they got in the complex. Two doors down from Finn's apartment Mrs. Golf, a lovely old lady with a delicate heart, stepped out of the elevator with her mail. After a brief bout of panic Finn had dumped Poe in a cramped maintenance closet and slammed himself back against the door just as Mrs. Golf noticed him. That looked casual, right?

Despite it all Finn managed to smile and nod his way through a polite conversation with her about cats, all the while trying to hold the door shut in the hopes that Poe's tail wouldn't flop out. Finn hadn't been sure whether his arms or his heart would give out, first.

But, Finn reasoned as he leant down to press a kiss to Poe's cheek, it was all worth it, if it meant Poe was safe. He didn't look happy, though.

"You okay?"

"I guess. But I feel bad, leaving Babs out in this weather. I hope she's okay..."

"About that." At that juncture Babs popped out of Finn's hood with a little mewl, shaking some water from her fur. "Climbed in there while I was bandaging you up." he provided, handing over the squirming little kitten. Poe's face lit up and he gave Babs a tight squeeze, listening in delight when she started to purr.

"Hi, baby..." he cooed, rocking Babs like an infant. "I'm sorry for forgetting about you. You still like me, right?" In response Babs nipped at his fingers and curled up on his chest, believing that she had made her point. "Guess not."

"Well, I like you." Finn assured Poe as he turned on the tap. Curious, Poe tried running his hand under the piping hot stream, smiling in pleased surprise.

"It's warm." he realised.

"Yeah, plumbing's great. Real revolutionary." Finn smiled and turned his attention back to the gash in Poe's arm. His chest and shoulders and belly were covered in scars that looked just like it. Swimming around in saltwater with those things must sting. When it was all bandaged up he pressed a kiss to Poe’s shoulder and smiled.

“Thanks, sweetheart. Any particular way I can pay you back?”

“I can think of a couple.” Finn hummed, letting Poe pull him into a warm kiss. He swept his hand down as Poe nuzzled against him, a low rumble buzzing in his chest. "You can purr?"

"Apparently." Poe laughed. Finn's hand stilled on its way down and Poe opened a curious eye to see what had happened. Then he looked down, cheeks going crimson when he realised that his dick was poking out of the slit where his crotch would be if he were human. "Oh, shit. Finn, I...um. Sorry."

"What the hell are you sorry for? This?" Finn gave him a gentle tug and Poe moaned, bucking up into the touch and making some water slosh over the side of the tub. Some of it landed on Finn's leg, but he was too intent on Poe’s frankly fascinating anatomy to care. "You are not sleeping in here tonight, big guy. No way in hell..."

"That a fact?” Poe laughed. “Bed?”

“I should think so.” Finn agreed. He moved to lift Poe out of the tub but Poe shooed him away, giving Finn’s crotch a squeeze as he got up.

"You go make yourself pretty, sweetheart. I can take care of myself for a little while." he said with a wink.

“But your arm…” Poe stuck out his tongue and Finn relented. This guy was as stubborn as he was attractive. “Holler if you need me.” Finn sighed, sashaying back over to his bedroom as he tugged his shirt up over his head. He thought he heard more water hit the ground as he rolled out his shoulders and stretched. Well, good to know that Poe was paying attention, Finn reasoned as he flopped down onto his bed and wriggled out of his underwear. That was a real confidence booster.

The springs creaked when Poe climbed up beside him a few minutes later, mostly dry and watching as Finn worked himself open, two slick fingers already sunk knuckle-deep in his hole. His eyes drifted over to Finn’s cock and lit up, something kind of curious in his expression.

“Wow. I figured we’d be kinda different, but…” He cupped Finn’s balls in his hand, carefully rolling and tugging, grinning when his cock gave a rigid little twitch in response. “Is it supposed to be all stiff? Doesn’t seem comfortable…”

While Poe occupied himself with investigating that Finn turned his attention to Poe’s own situation. His cock was pink and slick and smooth, tapering to a blunt point. Curious, Finn ran his hand up from the base, biting back a laugh when the end curled affectionately around his fingers. A little bit strange, admittedly, but Finn wasn’t about to complain of having something that dexterous inside of him.

"Someone's happy to see me." he smiled, rolling Poe onto his back and straddling him, their cocks brushing as Finn rocked his hips. He pushed down the thought that Poe could conceivably jack him off with his cock. Best save that for another day.

“Same could be said for you.” Poe pointed out, giving the head of Finn’s cock a fond rub. It seemed to intrigue him to no end. Odds are they would be exploring that later. “Inside?”

“Please.” Finn breathed, moving to line himself up with Poe. Embarrassingly enough, Finn moaned as Poe eased himself in, a choked off sound he hadn’t thought he was capable of making. “Oh, fuck…” At that Poe paused, looking up at Finn for assurance that it was going alright.

"You okay?"

"Define 'okay'." Finn panted, experimentally grinding down on Poe's cock. "Because I can't really think straight right now, if you'd like to know. How’re you?"

“I like it in here, to tell you the truth. Think I’ll stay awhile. There any way I can, uh, reciprocate?” Finn took Poe’s hand and wrapped it around his cock, grinning when Poe took to hint and started to jerk him, fingertips curiously exploring the ridges and veins and curling hair at the base. What Finn wouldn't give to have a camera, right now.

When Poe was as deep as he could take, Finn shuddered and pressed his hands into Poe's belly, already fighting the need to come. It's not like he hadn't had sex before, but something about this was a bit more intense. Especially when he felt something stroking and petting his prostate, sending electric shocks up and down his spine. Well, that was new.

"Fuck. It's moving. How is it--" Poe stilled and Finn nearly whimpered at the loss of stimulation. And he had thought he didn't have any dignity left to lose. "God, Poe..."

"Shit, sorry. That's a thing that happens." Finn nearly buckled and Poe reached out and caught him. "Probably should've mentioned that," he realised, watching Finn's eyes go wide as he began to move again, careful as ever. It was still enough to make Finn sweat and shake, though.

"I'm not complaining." Holding himself up took more effort than Finn cared to admit. Instead he just flopped against Poe's warm chest and moaned when the new angle gave his cock more wriggle-room. "Not how I expected my evening to go..."

"Mm." Smiling, Poe pressed his lips to Finn's and cupped his face in his free hand, being careful with the claws. "What did you have planned?"

"I dunno. Fixing the sink, reading, jerking off while I thought of you..."

"Ain't the real thing so much better?" To emphasize he nudged in deeper, dick rubbing over Finn's prostate with each careful thrust. What couldn't that thing do?

They flipped when Finn’s legs began to tremble and the new position made Poe slide in deeper, making Finn see stars, breath picking up and temperature in his cheeks rising with every movement.

“You close?” Finn gasped, digging his fingers into Poe's sides. Something suspiciously like a growl rumbled in Poe's chest and Finn trembled as the cadence of his thrusts picked up, cock spasming inside him.

Unabashed, Finn rutted against Poe's belly one more time, body clenching and trembling as he spilled over his fingers with a gasp. Poe collapsed a second later, groaning into Finn’s neck and shaking with the force of his orgasm. Finn swore he felt it when Poe came inside him, hard and almost painful, throbbing cock flooding Finn with what feltt to be an unreasonable amount of come.

“Fuck, that’s a lot…” When the shock wore off Finn lifted Poe’s face and managed a shaky, accusatory smile. "Another thing you probably should've mentioned?"

“I...yeah.” Poe managed. Come started to drip out of Finn’s stretched hole as soon as Poe withdrew, looking down at the mess he had made between Finn's thighs with thinly veiled curiosity, cradling his bandaged arm as he worked something out in his head.

Then without a word he flopped onto his belly, wriggling his lower half as he shimmied down the bed. Finn tried not to smile when he realised that Poe's movements bore an uncanny similarity to the buoyant little seals he had once seen at the aquarium. Very bouncy.

"Poe..."

"I'll deal with cleanup, sweetheart. You relax."

Finn hummed in agreement and dropped his legs open a little wider, noting the wet noise that the movement produced. Seems there was a lot to clean up. Poe spent a good ten minutes with his head happily tucked between Finn's legs, ears perking up whenever he heard Finn's breathing hitch or the sheets rustling in his hold. After what felt like a decade Finn whined a little bit and Poe paused, if reluctantly.

"You want me to stop?" Poe asked, looking up at Finn with eyes blown dark. His chin was sticky with his own come and Finn shuddered at the sight, managing to pull him into one more kiss with what little coordination he had left. "Oh, so that's what you wanted."

"Fuck off." Finn sighed, a content smile on his glowing face. The two of them lay in the rumpled sheets for a long time, kissing and nuzzling and making no attempt to sort out the tangle of their bodies. Eventually Poe kissed Finn’s neck, grinning when he barely stirred.

"You okay? Gone all quiet on me."

"Mm..." Finn dragged his fingers through Poe's damp hair and smiled. The drier it got the more it curled, creating an almost cherubic effect. "Means you did your job." he yawned, just about ready to drop off. Before doing so he pulled Poe's arm over him and snuggled in, noting that the mattress was complaining something awful. Oh well. That boxspring had been nice while it lasted.  

"Hey, sweetheart, before you get too comfortable, I might have to get back in the tub soon. Fell asleep on the beach one time down in Florida and woke up feeling like shit. Lotsa puking..."

"Wanna stay with you." Finn complained, clinging to Poe's arm. When Poe started to wriggle Finn sighed and rolled out of bed, discreetly testing his legs before putting his full weight on them. "Fuck, you're high maintenance..."

"I'm worth it, though." Poe said comfortably, laughing when Finn tossed half the contents of the laundry hamper at him.

While Poe arranged towels on the bed Finn went over to the bathroom and dunked one of his old cotton quilts in the tub, holding it under for a couple seconds before dragging it out with a grunt. That woke him up a little bit. The thing was about as heavy as one of the bigger nets on his boat. From the looks of it, dating Poe beyond their little cove would mean a lot of hauling stuff around.

Strangely enough, it was only when he was standing in the doorway with a dripping wet quilt in his arms did the reality of the situation strike him. Finn was dating a merman, an actual, live fish person. What a concept.

Poe actually sighed in relief when Finn heaped the blanket over him, making sure it stayed on the towels. "Oh man, I've always wanted to use one of these. Fuck, it's cozy..."

"Merpeople don't have blankets?" Finn asked, crawling under his own, drier blanket.

"What would be the point? They'd just float away." After poking curiously at the mismatched squares stitched together with sturdy orange thread Poe pulled the quilt up to his chin and snuggled down with a happy sigh. "Besides, they wouldn't do much if they were underwater, would they?"

"Fair enough." Finn yawned, reaching over and running a hand through Poe's curls, smiling when Poe pressed kisses to his fingertips. Then something occurred to him and he scratched Poe under the chin. "Wait, you're a mammal, right? Why d'you have scales?"

"I don't. These are just decoration. Feel." Poe guided Finn's hand below the blanket and placed it on the rounded curve of his hip, let him trace his fingers over the sleek grey skin and what he had thought were scales. Turns out they were more like chips of a mineral, mica maybe, embedded in Poe's skin like a mosaic.

The effect it produced at a distance had been one thing, but up close it was even more dazzling, the delicacy of the crystals that seemed to have been alive, or at least were sharing in some of the life Poe had. Finn had a feeling that if you put him in a dark room, he would glow.

"So you're a bedazzled seal."

"Basically." Poe laughed, amused by Finn's observation. "It's kinda like how humans get tattoos and piercings. Tradition in my colony, I guess. 'Sposed to be enough to cover the whole thing, but I got swept off pretty young." He shrugged and gave his fin a resigned little flap. "Only got as far as the racing stripes."

"They look good as is." Finn laughed, pressing a kiss to an orange shard glittering above the sharp ridge of Poe's collarbone. The hand wandering around downstairs brushed against Poe's slit and Finn grinned, feeling him tense. "Besides, if you had the whole thing done, straddling you would be a fucking pain."

"It would be, wouldn't it?" Poe pursed his lips, eyes crinkling up a bit with thought. "Hey, sweetheart, not to be a downer or anything but how are we gonna make this work, exactly? As much as I'd like to, I can't stay hauled out here forever."

Finn wrinkled his nose at the very idea of discussing this right now. As far as he was concerned, the nitty-gritty could all be dealt with much, _much_ later. Besides, Poe sounded as tired as Finn felt. Best to save this chat for when they were both lucid.

"Don't worry about it. My roommate's a witch. She might get one of us to trade our voices for it, but I'm sure she'll think of something." Finn yawned and gave Poe's hand a reassuring squeeze before dropping off, barely even registering his own words as he said them. "She helped me out when I got turned into a frog, after all..."

"Wait, what?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Google dolphin dick. I dare you.


	3. Chapter 3

"...So with the power of True Bros Power Hug, Rey broke the curse and turned me back into my handsome fucking self again." Finn concluded, watching Poe's expression with a smile. It had ventured into the realm of disbelieving when Finn had recounted his and Rey's visit with the giant slug. "We got the hell out of that swamp, got the family business handed over to us, and to this day I can't look at frog legs without puking. The end." 

"Wow." Poe didn't seem to know how he was supposed to react to that story. Frankly, some of it was still processing. When it all smoothed out a little bit he nodded and smiled at Finn. "Hey, does that mean you could be a prince?"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Finn laughed, squinting up at the seagulls riding the curls of salt-sharp wind swirling above them. They were curled up on the deck of his tired old boat, Finn with his head resting comfortably in Poe's warm lap. It was a good spot; The air was fresh off the sea and Poe soaked up sun like a sponge does water. No wonder the poor guy was wont to overheat. It made him a wonderful pillow, though.

This had been anything but a planned rendez-vous. Somehow Poe had managed to get himself tangled up in Finn's nets while he was chasing after a cod. It had come as a bit of a shock, seeing as they were a ways away from shore. Apparently the thief had made off with a silver necklace and Poe wasn't about to let a damn fish get its fins on his find. His sense of competition extended further than video games, apparently.

"Think Rey could help me out?" Poe asked, nodding at his tail. "I mean, she fixed you when you got caught up in that frog fiasco, so..."

"With what, giving you legs? You wanna be where the people are?" Finn teased. He softened his voice when he saw the earnest expression on Poe's face. "You want to be human."

"Well, yeah. I'm bored with the ocean. There's nowhere to go." Poe's gaze rested on the horizon, the blue expanse preceding it. "It's more like a big road than a destination itself. Not empty, but kinda lonely. Nothing lasts long in there. I'd build myself a little place and the currents would change and sweep it off, or I'd plant something and ten minutes later a school of herring would come by and eat it. Maybe it's different when you're part of a colony, but..." Poe shrugged, tracing the grooves and nicks in the floor. "I want to belong somewhere, that's all. I want a place to call home."

"You're welcome to share mine." Finn offered. "But don't think you have to change to do that. You shouldn't feel like you have to become something else if you want to stay with me."

"It wouldn't just be for you, sweetheart. It's just that I've always..." Poe shook his head and snorted. "God, this is gonna sound stupid. I watched _The Little Mermaid_  when I was ten. They were screening it at a beach. Kinda got me thinking. I always hoped I'd get a chance to come on land, make friends, human stuff like that. I told myself that it would be enough to just visit, but I'm getting kind of attached to you and Rey, honestly."

Finn smiled, hearing the fondness in Poe's voice. Fortunately enough, the two people Finn was closest to had struck up an easy friendship together. And Finn had had nothing to do with it. A few months back Rey had stumbled across Poe in the kitchen one night while he was looking for a midnight snack. Literally stumbled, if Poe's bruised rump and her scraped up knees meant anything. Thankfully they moved past that and Finn had found the two of them the next morning playing Mario Kart and eating his marshmallows. They both seemed to agree that food resolved conflict better than anything else. 

"We're getting attached to you, too." Finn agreed. A toothy smile spread across Poe's face and Finn sat up to kiss him chastely on the cheek. "Although I might be a bit more far gone than Rey..."

"Good to know. So what d'you think? Get legs? Or keep the blubber butt?" Poe asked, making Finn laugh. 

"Do what's gonna make you happy. Nobody knows better than you what that is. Although if you want my two cents, my arms are getting kinda tired from lugging you around all the time." 

"If I ever become human, y'know I'm still gonna make you carry me, right? It'd be a shame to waste these." Poe gave Finn's bicep a squeeze, unapologetic. In retaliation Finn reached around and grabbed Poe's plush rear end, making him jolt. The discovery of how ticklish he was down there was better than any birthday gift Finn had ever received. Although the Captain America shield Rey had gotten for him last year was a close second.

"Fine. So long as you let me say goodbye to the blubber butt, at least." The glint in Finn's eyes let Poe know that _goodbye_ would likely involve tickling, and he wasn't quite sure his dignity could take something like that. 

"No, no, _no_..." Poe laughed as he scrambled away from Finn's groping hands and slid off the side of the boat with ease, slipping into the water with barely a splash. Never one to give up on the chase Finn pulled his shirt up over his head and set to work on his belt, prompting a wolf whistle from the waves below.

"Like what you see?" he laughed, glancing over the edge to see Poe waiting for him, splashing in anticipation. 

"I think my opinion's pretty damn obvious. You coming in?" 

Finn answered by cannonballing off of the gunwale with a reckless whoop. The fact that he was jumping into the Atlantic wearing nothing but his boxers didn't occur to him until the water hit him. And it hit him _hard_. He popped up with a gasp and another splash, shaking the water out of his hair and flailing none too gracefully. Sure, Finn could swim, but he couldn't really look good while doing it. Meanwhile Poe was swimming tight, graceful circles around him, curling his tail around Finn's legs and humming.

"How's it going?"

"It's fucking _freezing_." 

"Don't be a bitch. It's April."

"Yeah, well not all of us have the benefit of being part sea mammal. Blubber's warm." Having had enough of the whining Poe flipped onto his back and pulled Finn up onto his chest. It was a tight fit, but nobody was about to complain about closeness. Finn had a flashback to the video of an otter holding her baby and laughed as he pressed a kiss to Poe's neck. "You're cozy." 

"Thanks. Nicest thing you've ever said to me." Poe snorted. Ignoring the sarcasm, Finn snuggled in with a happy sigh, drifting with the sound of waves and the soft warmth of Poe's chest against his cheek. Hopefully the coziness would carry over if Poe decided to become human. Finn had a feeling it would.

 

\---------

 

An eel heart, fragments from a kraken's egg, the head of a tuna with eyes that roved around the room as though searching for its body. Finn was staring too, equally confused by the spread laid out on the kitchen counter. And here he had been thinking that Poe was cooking up Friday night breakfast like he had done last week. Finn had been hoping for red velvet pancakes, but those didn't seem to be on the menu.

Rey was standing at the stove and humming _Poor Unfortunate Souls,_ stirring some evil-smelling grey mixture in a bright blue pot. Poe had heaved himself up onto the counter to watch while he munched on a strawberry Pop-tart. He hadn't bothered to heat it up, as was his custom. While it was great that his two best friends were bonding, Finn wasn't quite sure brewing sinister draughts was the way to do it.

"Hey, sweetheart. What're you doing up?" Poe asked, his face lighting up when he saw Finn. That afternoon he had taken to bed with a head cold that he blamed entirely on his little swim a couple days ago. His impulse control needed some work, obviously.

"Babs kicked me outta bed." Yawning, Finn leant on Poe's lap and tilted his face up for a sugar-coated kiss. Poe's kisses always tasted like something ridiculously sweet. Yesterday's flavour had been chocolate frosting. "This all for one potion?"

"Yeah. It's pretty simple, actually. Ursula was just being extra." Rey confirmed. She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him out the door, rolling up the sleeves of her thick wool sweater as she did. She had knit it herself, no magic involved. "You gotta go. Don't want you getting caught in the backwash. Who knows what the spell would do to you."

"Make me humaner?" Finn offered, crowding the door until Poe tossed him a glinting silver package. He had saved the last Pop-tart for Finn, bless him. Actually he had taken a couple bites, but Finn could forgive him that.

"More like turn you into an ungodly hybrid."

"You'd make a hot merman." Poe commented. Finn blew him one more kiss, then Rey snapped the door shut on him, a clear indication that visiting hours were over. Undeterred, Finn pressed his ear to the thick blue wood while he chewed, wondering if he should grab a pair of pants from his bedroom. Maybe those grey sweats, even though they would clash terribly with the flannel Poe had stolen, specifically the bright orange number with grey and white checks. Poe had a fondness for Finn's clothes.

All of a sudden Finn heard a commotion behind the door. There was a white flash, a rattling bang, and...a startled bark? That last one didn't seem to fit. 

" _Shit_." Rey's voice was muffled, but it didn't take a genius to tell that something was amiss. "Shit. Finn, get in here - Poe, come out, it's not that bad-" The door was yanked open and Finn toppled in, nearly slamming into Rey. She nimbly darted out of the way as she spouted off instructions. "Take care of him for a sec. And don't touch anything. And don't let Poe touch anything. And I can't fucking believe this..." With that Rey scrambled past Finn, cursing like a sailor as she ran off towards her bedroom. Well, that had been abrupt.

Finn straightened and cautiously surveyed the scene. The room was a mess, like a particularly enthusiastic hurricane had blown through. The cupboards were all thrown open, the table had been tipped over, and jars and bowls were rolling across the stained tile floor, clicking against each other like marbles. There was also a trembling lump under the tablecloth that Finn assumed was Poe. Part of his rump was poking out, no different from before, actually. Seems like the spell hadn't worked. Although from the sad, animal whimpers he could hear under the checked cloth, Finn gathered that something else had happened.

"Poe?" Another little whine was the only answer he got. There was something decidedly unusual about these noises. Tentative, Finn ventured to push back the cloth from where he assumed Poe's face was. He stared for a moment. He put the cloth down again and took a deep breath before trying another peek. Maybe his eyes had been playing tricks on him. Didn't take long for that hope to dissolve, though. 

"Oh, shit."  

A seal was staring back at him with large, limpid black eyes and a confused expression. Finn took a moment to take stock of what he saw, wondering again if he could possibly be mistaken. Twitchy whiskers, soft grey snout scrunched up in a sad little pout, flippers. Yup. A seal. Rey had turned his boyfriend into an honest to God pinniped. Finn felt a little faint.

"What the _fuck_ did you do?" he demanded when Rey ran back into the kitchen, toting a leather bound book in her arms. And this right here was why Finn didn't touch magic with a ten foot pole. When shit went wrong, it went _wrong_.

"The spell, that's what I did..." Rey stumbled through the room, fingers frantically skimming the stained pages of her book for answers. It was musty with age and beginning to crack at the spine, the mark of years of diligent service to any number of witches and wizards. Who knew how Rey had come into possession of it. She slammed it down on the counter and started flipping through it again, murmuring curses and fanning away the sickly purple smoke that made the kitchen smell like cat sick with notes of lavender. Finn didn't dwell on that too long. "I did it right, I swear."  

"Is _right_ the word we're going with here? He's a seal!"

 While they went back and forth Poe bounced his way across the room to hide in the cupboard under the sink, the sleeves of his shirt dragging on the floor. Why did he still have that on? Finn crouched by him and softened his voice, feeling kind of ridiculous as he tried to coax Poe out of his hiding place. "Aw, c'mon out, babe. It's okay. At least you're a cute seal."

"Is there such a thing as an ugly seal?" Rey wondered. Finn flipped her off while he pulled as much of Poe as he could into his lap and rocked him back and forth, bouncing him a little bit. Seals were heavy. And squishy. Finn couldn't help but squeeze him like a teddy bear. Poe grumbled into his neck, but Finn wasn't quite sure whether his grievance was with the hugging or the situation as a whole.

"How's it going?" Poe made a sound Finn placed somewhere in between gargling and grunting, which really didn't answer the question. "I don't speak that." Frustrated, Poe barked something else that was lost pretty quickly in translation. After another few tries he realised that Poe was trying to say that his back was itchy. Finn started to scratch him and sighed. If this kept up, he wasn't quite sure how either of them would cope.

"Lighten up, Finn. It's not that bad..." Rey insisted, seeing Finn's expression.

"Say that again when I get sent to prison for bestiality." He felt an unhappy huff against his neck, followed by a half-hearted nip to the collar of his shirt. "Sorry, babe. But it's true."

"Just don't get caught in bed with-okay, found the bug." Rey squinted at Poe then back at the book, nodding cautiously. "This makes sense. Spell I used is to turn merpeople into humans." 

"And? He's a merman. Well, right now he's a seal." Finn was still wrapping his head around that. 

"Actually, I think he's a selkie. No idea why he's halfway..."

"Would've been nice if you figured that out earlier." Finn sighed. Poe buried his snout in Finn's neck, whimpering a little bit pitifully as Finn stroked him. "Wait, selkies are like seals, right? I thought he was a dolphin."

"The retractable dick thing's probably just an idea they pulled in - ha, pulled in - from dolphins. Selkies had some pretty powerful magic, back in the day. They were originally wizards, y'know. Must've seen what dolphins had going on downstairs and been like _hey, that looks like a good idea_..." 

"Uh." Finn's face warmed up, and he swore he felt Poe's do the same. Could seals blush? He wasn't sure, but this one was. "How'd you know..." Rey shot him a look and snorted in derision.

"This place has got thin walls, Finn."

"Right." Well, that was mortifying. Finn sighed and tried to put that tidbit of information out of his mind. If he wasn't mistaken, selkies were the ones who could shed their seal skin or something whenever they wanted to go on land. There had been a book about it in one of his foster parent's houses, a big illustrated thing full of dryads and giants and faeries. Finn would have curled up with that and a cup of hot cocoa for hours, if the opportunity ever came around. It never did, but it sure was a fond fantasy. Never expected he would be living it, though.

While Rey pored over her book Poe drew himself upright and managed to fit himself in Finn's lap with a happy little churring noise. Finn squirmed under the added weight, but Poe didn't seem all that inclined to move, which meant he was essentially stuck in place. It's not like he was about to kick out the poor guy, though.

 "So now what?" he asked, really wanting to break the silence but not knowing what to say. 

"I dunno. I'm going to bed." Rey sighed, righting the room with a wave of her hand. Poe yelped in protest and Rey shrugged, ducking a pan that sailed over her head. "Well, we can't go see anyone for help tonight, now can we? I'll make a few calls tomorrow and figure out everything from there. How's that sound?"

"I guess that works." And it wasn't like Finn had any better ideas. Poe's nod was listless, but at least they were all in agreement. 

"Great. Well, not great, but..." Rey crouched beside them and tapped Poe on the flank, waiting for him to look at her. "I'm really, really sorry, Poe. Can't believe I fucked up the spell that bad. Can you forgive me?" she asked, sounding like a kid caught with her hand in a cookie jar. Finn hadn't seen that look since the time she accidentally enchanted a broom to follow him around all day. 

For a moment Poe regarded her outstretched arm almost coldly, then his face lit up in a goofy seal smile and he gave her hand a fond nudge. Finn cracked a grin, nonplussed at how quick Poe was to forgiveness. This was the guy who kept a cat that had tried to eat him, after all.

"Thanks." Rey smiled in relief and squeezed Finn's shoulder. "I promise I'm gonna figure it out."

"'Course you will. We'll talk more in the morning. C'mon, Poe." After pecking Rey on the cheek he scooped Poe up in a piggyback, grunting when he realised that he might have underestimated how much a fully grown seal would weigh. "God, you're heavy..."

 Unapologetic, Poe purred and flopped against Finn's back, a big, blubbery weight on his spine. He'd taken for granted that Poe usually held himself up with his upper body when Finn carried him, but flippers weren't quite as helpful in that respect. 

"Y'know, when I thought about you riding me," Finn grunted as he trudged down the hall. "This is _not_ what I had in mind."

Poe snorted in agreement and Finn sighed. This would be a weird fucking weekend, no doubt about that.


	4. Chapter 4

"You wouldn't happen to know how to play sudoku, would you?" Finn asked, squinting at the enigmatic little grids in the corner of the newspaper. After reading the whole thing through three times Finn had gotten desperate for entertainment. The crossword he had breezed through in minutes, but numbers seemed to slow everything down, though. "Do I like, add them or..."

His gaze drifted down to his chest and he noticed that Poe's round brown eyes seemed to be fluttering a little bit. Finn held his breath, watching his whiskers twitch before he nuzzled his sleek grey head into Finn's Batman shirt with a little snore. Ever so carefully, Finn eased out from under him and arranged the pillows and blankets in a nest for him. Satisfied, he pressed one more kiss to Poe's forehead and crept out into the hall, listening back to check that Poe's snores stayed steady. He would stay, honest, but if Poe rolled on top of him in his sleep Finn was sure he would be crushed.

After a couple hours, he had come to accept the seal situation for what it was. That is, another weird fucking occurrence in his already unusual life. If things kept going at this rate, by the end of the year nothing would faze him at all. Odds are he could wake up one morning with a sparkly horn growing out of his forehead and a dick that ejaculated confetti, and his only reaction would be to stock up on condoms. 

Music from Rey's bedroom rattled the walls and Finn glanced at her door, concern pulling his eyebrows together. She only listened to music that loudly when she was trying to drown out her problems. After grabbing a chocolate bar from the kitchen and Babs from on top of his laptop he knocked tentatively, not touching the glowing sigils carved into the wood. Who knows what those things would do to him. 

"Rey? You okay?" The door creaked open on its own accord and he wrinkled his nose when he stepped through, cautious to avoid the stuffed fox by the bookshelf that nipped at your ankles if you crossed it. The air was sharp with the dried herbs hanging in the corners of the ceiling, stuffy with the dust of scrolls and manuscripts. Both of their rooms were pigsties, but Finn made an effort to keep his mess on the aesthetic side of things. Rey's room looked more like a haunted house and a scrapyard crowded into about a hundred square feet.

Once he picked his way across the supernatural minefield he rested the candy bar on the pillow beside Rey and smiled, settling Babs in her lap. "Will these help?"

"Unless it can teach me the difference between a hex and a curse, I doubt it." Finn raised an eyebrow and Rey sighed as she gave Babs a scratch. "I suck at magic." she mumbled. She was writing labels on containers filled with glowing, bubbling potions, all balanced precariously on her throw pillows and quilts. The Mason jar she had in her hands was filled with some fizzy pink substance called _Black Death_. Finn decided not to ask, instead joining her on the bed and giving her a reassuring squeeze.

"What are you talking about? You put that charm on my boat, remember? I'm the only guy who's never gotten caught in a storm or pulled up an empty net. And you magicked the kitchen so it's like we've got at least five people cooking back there. And you're great at curses." Finn knew that one for sure. 

"Those are just little things. I always fuck up the big things."

"Aw, c'mon, that's not true..."

"I turned Poe into a seal." she reminded him.

"Well, everyone has off days." Finn said smoothly. Rey managed a little bit of a grin, but her eyes stayed downcast. As her best friend, Finn considered it his responsibility to rectify that. "And hey, you learnt this stuff all by yourself, remember? Being a self-taught witch is bound to be more difficult than leeching off of a teacher."

"Maybe..." Rey sighed, still tentative to agree. It was a touchy subject for her, not having the chance to learn from someone who knew what they were doing. Neither of her parents had really tapped into the whole magic thing, keeping the idea at an arms length. Not to say that they didn't support Rey, but there was always an apprehensiveness in Leia's eyes when she saw her daughter changing tables into lizards. It must stem from somewhere, but Finn wasn't quite sure where that was, yet. 

"Definitely. And you're doing great." Pushing the rest of that out of his mind, Finn pressed a kiss to the side of her ear, smiling in relief when she laughed. "Best witch I know."

"You only know one, dummy. By the way, why don't you want to learn?" she asked, flopping against Finn's chest. "I can literally smell the magic on you."

"Need to buy myself some deodorant, then..." Rey snorted and Finn held her closer, burying his face in her soft, shoulder-length hair. The conditioner she used smelled like roses, he noticed. Last month it had been violets. "I dunno. I just don't want another layer, y'know? I've got enough going on without having to worry about all that Harry Potter bullshit."

"I guess so." Rey sighed into his shirt. Finn smiled and pat her on the shoulder, but when he tried to move he realised that she had fallen asleep in his arms. He flip-flopped for a minute before deciding to stick around. At the very least she was lighter than Poe.

 

\-----------

 

"Alright, so Mom and Dad are okay to man the store for a few days. Should be enough time for us to get to Uncle Luke's place, and he's got this weird teleporty magic doorway thing, so we don't have to account for a return trip." 

Rey laid out her plan while she unloaded the dishwasher, cups and pans dancing through the air and slotting themselves neatly in the drawers and cupboards. Finn, for his part, was clearing the table with more mundane means. Call him crazy, but having butcher knives darting around like hummingbirds above his head made him a little antsy.

"Sounds good. So your parents know about..." Finn cleared his throat Poe lifted his muzzle from his third bowl of Froot Loops, puppy-dog eyes locked pleadingly on Finn. What little dignity the poor man had left had been put in jeopardy when Rey's parents had stepped in a few days ago and happened upon him bouncing across the living room floor with a bag of Cheetos in his mouth. Turns out Leia had once cut him out of a net when he was thirteen, and Poe had been kind of crushing on her ever since. At least Finn called it a crush.

 "Yeah. I think Dad damn near killed himself laughing." Rey sighed, watching Poe make his way over to the dishwasher, nudging his empty bowl along with his nose for lack of a better method. Trying not to look too pitying Finn scooped it up and handed it to Rey. "Luke lives in Nevada, by the way. Dad said we could borrow the car."

"Can't Luke come here?"

 "It's bad luck to do a spell like this anywhere but home, so..." Something hopeful flitted across Rey's face and Finn sighed. To date, he hadn't been able to resist that look. "Roadtrip?"

"Roadtrip." he agreed. Poe barked something that may have been an affirmative, and the three of them were all in agreement. Although Finn's stomach was twisting a little bit in concern he tried to ignore it. This would go according to plan, of course it would. After all, how hard could it be to tote a sea mammal cross country?

 

 -----------

 

"Don't you have a spell or something?" Finn groaned.

"I'm bad with water spells." Rey said regretfully, passing Finn another water bottle. They were on the side of the highway, dousing Poe in water from the cooler in the back of their broken-down car. Even Babs was trying to help by swiping her rough little tongue over Poe's sweaty forehead. As hard as they tried, they couldn't seem to get his temperature down. Not for the first time Poe whined protestingly into Finn's chest, throat dry and cracking. Maybe taking a seal on a roadtrip that wound through a desert hadn't been their most well thought out idea. Hot? Poe could take. Dry? Maybe. Hot and dry? Well, now they were just asking for trouble.  

Even Finn was already soaked with sweat, and he wasn't even layered in blubber. God, he hated deserts. He licked his lips and squinted at Rey. She was looking unfairly comfortable despite the midday sun. Probably a magic thing. "Got any bright ideas?"

"We passed a house that looked like it had a pool 'bout a mile back. Looked empty. Least I sure hope it was..."

"Same here. How the fuck are we gonna explain this if it's not? _Hey stranger, mind if we stick a dubiously obtained sea mammal in your pool? Cool, thanks_." 

"Think positive, you son of a bitch..."  After dumping the rest of the cooler water on top of Poe the two of them picked up the corners of the blanket he was laid out on, beginning what Finn was sure would be a slow, tedious trek. 

Turns out that he was right on both counts. It may have just been a mile walk, but each step cemented Finn's conviction that deserts were big, barren wastelands one should never cross unless absolutely necessary. When Rey pointed them in the direction of a big art deco building Finn nearly started running; when he saw the pool glittering a pristine blue in the backyard he could have cheered. The place itself was kind of strange, a lush topiary garden populated by Picasso-esque bush animals. The pool itself seemed to be guarded by a cubist rattlesnake with desert roses for eyes. It freaked Finn out a little bit, but Poe paid it no mind as he flopped gratefully into the water. Well, that was a relief. Rey and Finn allowed themselves a moment to relax, but that didn't last long. Did it ever?

"Rey Breha Organa Solo!" A booming voice rang out with military authority from behind a flowering bush shaped like a kangaroo. Poe whimpered and ducked under the water just as a tiny woman stepped out from behind the foliage, brandishing a red watering can like a pistol. The sunlight played tricks on her thick spectacles and Finn found he had to squint if he didn't feel like blinding himself. "Now why are you putting a seal in my swimming pool?" 

"Who..." Rey's eyes widened and something seemed to click in her head. "Maz?"

"Mm." The woman approached them with a purposeful stride, her bangles and earrings adding to her already glittering little frame "You've grown, haven't you? Your dad would leave you at my watering hole all the time, you know. I was a great babysitter." she added to Finn, nodding thoughtfully as she crouched by the pool. "And now what do we have here? Come out, you. I've got a treat."

True to her word, Maz pulled a wriggling squid out of her voluminous wool sweater and dangled it over the pool. While Finn puzzled over where it had come from Poe bobbed out of the water and snatched it right out of Maz's hand. "Oh, you're a cute one." she cooed, patting Poe on the snout. "But chlorine's going to make your troubles even worse. Might want to consider getting him out of there."

"Shoot, really?" Finn sighed and crouched by the pool and reached out, but Poe wasn't having it. "Hey, c'mon out, babe. Don't want you getting sicker." Stubborn as ever, Poe barked and submerged himself with a decisive splash. No one was beaching him again, no sir.  _"Babe_..."

"You're dealing with that." Rey informed him. Content to spectate, she rolled her jeans up to her knees and set herself down at the edge of the pool with the air of a Roman emperor at the Coliseum. Resigned, Finn splashed in after Poe, who was wriggling and writhing about like a greased eel. Or seal, as it were. After watching the two of them thrash for awhile Rey felt a tug on the side of her head and realised that Maz was trying to braid her hair, coming up a little bit short on material. When Rey turned to her with a quizzical expression Max just chuckled and smoothed her hand over Rey's head, her worn fingers tender and kind.

"Force of habit, I suppose. It's just like your mother's when she was younger. Only hers went all the way down to her waist. So what brings you to this part of town, by the way? Can't believe I haven't asked yet..."

"Mishap with a spell. Gotta fix it." Rey said vaguely, not quite ready to admit to the details. Maz just clucked and waved her hand as though fanning away insects, dismissive and reassuring at the same time. 

"Eh. Happens to the best of us. Say, did your car break down, by any chance? I have a lemon in the garage that's got a hold in the back. El-Camino I won in a poker game ages ago. Don't think 'won' is the term for it, though. If you can fix it you're free to drive it the rest of the way."

"Really?" Rey's face burst into a smile, all teeth and freckles. If there was one thing that could get her grinning like nothing else, it was mechanics. "Gimme a couple hours and a toolbox. And maybe some of that hot chocolate you used to make?" she wheedled, unable to resist. From what she could remember, that stuff had been a magical concoction with a sugar count through the roof, as close to cocaine as a five year old could legally obtain. 

"You do know we're in a desert, don't you? But I'll send a kettle out to you. Now go make yourself useful, hear?" 

Once Rey ran off, Babs curled up in her hood, Maz turned her attention to the happy couple galavanting in her pool. They were still sorting out their differences, as demonstrated by Finn having his arms wrapped around Poe's middle and Poe trying his darndest to shake him off. Maz pressed her fingers to her temple and sighed. This was worse than dealing with Han and Lando in the early days. 

"Boys?"

"Poe, it's bad for you-" 

"Boys."

"Quit biting me-"

_"Boys!"_

At her tone the both of them froze in place, Finn half submerged with Poe in a headlock and Poe with a mouthful of Finn's t-shirt. The pressure of Maz's fingertips on her forehead increased. Ah, young love. "Look, the sooner you wrap up your tantrum, the sooner I can go about turning you back, got it? Now come on inside, you two."

"You are such a piece of shit..." Finn sighed, glancing down at Poe as they limped after Maz. His little romp had perked him up a bit, so he actually had the energy to bounce along beside Finn. Irked as he was, Finn couldn't help but smile. Seals were impossible to frown at, after all.

Now Finn had thought that Rey boasted an impressive collection of witchy knick knacks, but Maz had taken it to a whole new level. On their way to the bathroom he counted two full-sized cauldrons, an umbrella stand full of assorted swords, and what looked to be a dragon skull stuffed full of marigolds sitting on the dining room. Clearly, whoever she was, Maz had been around.

Even the bathroom wasn't safe from clutter. Finn learnt that the hard way after nearly knocking over the crystal ball sitting in the paint-stained sink. After deciding that the place may be a hazard Maz tidied it with nothing but a snap of her fingers.

"If you actually tapped into that magic I can feel floating around you, you might have been able to deal with yourself, you know that?" she hummed when she noticed Finn blinking in the lemon-tinted smoke her spring cleaning had left behind. "Rey's more suited for combat magic herself, but don't tell her I said that. God knows how many fights she would start..."

"She's already pretty prone to starting them. And as far as I'm concerned, I've got enough on my plate."

"You say that now, but you're going to have a lot more to deal with, and learning to harness your powers might save you, one day. Few people are able to wield magic. Those few are chosen for a _reason_."

Having made her point Maz went about chopping up ingredients that seemed to appear out of thin air: Clawed bird feet and insects and strange, glowing weeds. Beside them the tub filled within seconds, helped along by a couple chants whispered under Maz's breath. It was big enough for two, Finn couldn't help but notice as Poe bobbed over to it. He slipped in with barely a splash, the water around his snout bubbling as he churred in relief.

"Better, right?" Poe nodded before submerging himself again, splashing Finn in the face. He had his priorities, clearly. Finn watched him rolling over for a minute before shaking his head and turning to Maz, who was using a lemon juicer to get the pulp out of an octopus head. "I don't get it. If he's a merman, why'd the spell turn him into a seal?

"Simple, really. Mammalian merfolk are nothing but a bunch of vain selkies. Didn't want to deal with humans and didn't want to give up their good looks, so they just combined the two." Maz explained, tossing herbs and powders into the bubbling water that was beginning to froth over the rim of the tub. For a moment Finn worried that she was making seal stew, until Poe sat up with a splash and a gasp, hands scrabbling on the chipped porcelain and hair plastered to his forehead. For a moment he stared at them, left eye twitching a little bit, then he grabbed Finn by the arm and pulled him close. Finn would mention that Poe's claws were digging into his arms, but now didn't seem to be the time.

"I was a seal." Poe managed, eyes wide and hands trembling. "I was..."

"That you were." Laughing, Finn leant in for a kiss before remembering that their host was present. She didn't seem too fazed by the PDA, though, only vaguely dissatisfied with the results of her spell.

"Now why did you have me turn him back? He made a cuter seal." Maz lamented as she gathered up her things and made for the door. "Well, to each their own, I suppose. I'm going to check on the goddaughter of mine. Behave, you two."

"Yes ma'am." Finn waited for the door to click shut before pulling Poe into a soapy, warm kiss. Pulling away he caught a glimpse of Poe's tail, back to its usual bedazzled state. Back to square one, but Finn was oddly okay with it.  "Good to be back?"

"Yeah." Poe stretched his arms above his head and wriggled his fingers. "I missed having fingers."

"You were a cute seal, though." Finn reflected as he wiped his hands off on his jeans. He got to his feet, but before he could get very far Poe grabbed him around the waist and pulled him down into another kiss. Finn tried to be annoyed, but the fact that Poe could grab him made him a bit too happy. "Now what?

"Big tub. Kinda lonely." Poe swished the water a little bit with his tail and smiled invitingly. "Care to join me?" 

"Depends on what you've got planned." But before the words were out of his mouth Finn had his shirt up halfway over his head and his jeans around his ankles. _Well_ , he reasoned he climbed in the tub and let Poe draw him into another kiss, _they were wet anyways_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the unforgivably long wait!


	5. Chapter 5

"Y'know, when I asked you to join me, this wasn't what I had in mind." Poe huffed, blinking the shampoo out of his eyes. Finn had packed along a couple travel sized bottles for the trip, and the biggest one had wound up being lathered in Poe's thick curls, much to his vague displeasure. Although he had spent most of his life in water, bathtubs were something of a new, unpleasant concept. Reverse boats, he called them.

"We're sweaty and disgusting. Besides, we have to clean that chlorine off you."  

"Fine." Poe pouted like a child and sat back, letting Finn run a towel over his damp hair while the tub drained. Finn had hopped out a moment after getting in, when they realised that whatever spell Maz had infused the water with was starting to turn his skin blue. So he had made do with giving Poe a proper scrub, which only raised minor complaints from Poe. Right now he seemed to be thinking something over, chewing carefully on his lower lip. His little stint as a seal seemed to have quieted him down a bit. After awhile he nudged Finn's elbow and smiled hopefully. "Hey, what Maz said, about you being like her and Rey...Is that true?"

"Well..." Finn bit down on his lower lip and sighed before holding out his right hand, curled up in a fist. When he opened it a blue flame flickered to life, no bigger than the light on a birthday candle, delicate and weak but there; all the proof he needed.

"Wow." Poe breathed, tracing his finger up Finn's wrist and through the flame. Finn knew there was no point in pulling back. The funny thing about his flames was their coolness, the way they seemed to soothe rather than hurt. Sure enough, one of the innumerable little cuts on Poe's fingers smoothed out and sealed up in barely a second. Poe wasn't especially fazed. Probably wasn't the strangest thing he had ever experienced. Really, all he had to do to find something stranger was look in a mirror.

"Guess you could say that. I got in trouble for it, once. Foster parent saw me, and well..." He closed his hand, extinguishing the flame. "They weren't my foster parent, after that."

"Poor baby." Poe pressed a kiss to Finn's cheek and smiled. "I think you're normal, if that's any comfort."

"Good to know the merman thinks so." Finn rolled his eyes and accepted another nuzzling kiss. There was something hungry in those innocent little cuddles. He reached down to check, and sure enough Poe's cock was poking out of his slit, thick and leaking with pre come. Now that was awfully convenient. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That Maz has a real big bathtub?" Finn gave his ass a pinch and Poe jerked. "Oh. Yeah. That too. Only I trust nothing in this bathroom." he admitted. After taking a glance around the room Finn nodded in assent. Sure, the shelves were precariously stacked with bottles filled with mysterious substances that might suit their needs, and he was sure Maz wouldn't miss a measly little vial, but half of it was either glowing blue or fizzing like a freshly opened can of pop. God knows what would happen if they shoved any of that stuff up his ass. "Any ideas?"

"Actually..." Sheepish, Finn reached over the side of the tub and unzipped his backpack. After digging around for a little he unearthed a small bottle of lube. For some reason Poe seemed to find that amusing.

"You prepared for this, didn't you?"

"What? I was looking forward to the reunion sex..."

"Someone's eager." Without much more preamble Poe bent Finn over the side of the tub and spread his ass, pressing a kiss to his hole and sending a shiver up his spine. "Can you..."

"I can't wait for you to not have claws." Finn sighed. He reached back and eased a slick finger into his hole, sighing at the pleasant intrusion. "Bored of doing this by myself..."

"I kinda enjoy watching you, though." Poe pulled Finn down to straddle his lap, smiling sheepishly as Finn stroked the tip of his cock, already laying perkily against his belly.

"Wouldn't hurt to get some hands on experience, don't you think?" When he got up to three fingers Finn started to tease and rut against Poe's cock, letting his head loll back and pressing his hands into Poe's chest for leverage when his legs buckled. His cock slid in easily, wriggling and squirming to make room for itself in Finn's body. There was a hitch when they got to the base and Finn grit his teeth, adjusting to the stretch. This right here was why they had to prep for this. 

"You okay, sweetheart?" 

"Yeah. Just..." Finn winced before managing to relax, gasping as Poe slid home. "Oh. Right. Damn. There we go." 

"Good job." Poe's laughter was warm in Finn's ear. "I mean, considering you did all the work..."

"Shut up." Finn gave Poe's nipples a pinch and rocked his hips, sighing in satisfaction. God, he had missed this.

"That's it, baby." Poe cooed as Finn moved up and down. His movements were careful, knees sliding on the porcelain floor. Poe held him close to his chest, claws scraping over Finn's skin with pinpoint intensity. "Fuck, I missed this..."

"It's been four days." Poe thrust in all the way and a whimper caught in Finn's throat. His hand shot back to steady himself on Poe's tail, and when it tensed underneath him and Finn paused. He brushed his fingertips over the slit in Poe's crotch and the movement made Poe squirm, whining a little against Finn's lips. Well, that was intriguing.

Curious, Finn slid a slicked-up finger into Poe's slit, getting a feel before pushing in deeper. Poe gasped in surprise, his cock twitching as well. A smile spread across Finn's face and he tried crooking his finger, touch dragging across a sensitive spot that had Poe shivering, pressing closer as he tensed. 

"This okay?" Poe answered by drawing a harsh breath and spilling into Finn with a desperate groan. Finn couldn't help but gasp at the feeling of Poe's heat rippling in his gut, muffling it as best he could in Poe's neck. The wet pulsations didn't slow, enhanced by the feeling of Poe twitching against his prostate and making electric shocks flare up and down Finn's spine

"Fucking hell, Finn..." Dazed, Finn hummed in agreement, a little high off the feeling of Poe's come dripping back out, trailing down his thighs. Poe slipped out and cupped his fingers over Finn's hole, feeling it spasm with emptiness. "You alright?"

As he asked Poe wrapped his hand around Finn's weeping cock, using the pre-come that had gathered to slick up his fingers. Finn was already pretty far gone, so all it took was a decently tight grip and the clever turn of Poe's wrist. Trembling, Finn came, splattering Poe's stomach and whining into his neck.

"God, Poe..." Finn unstuck his palm from Poe's sweaty chest, tracing his trembling fingers over the red nail crescents marking up his skin. Sated and warm and somewhat drunk, Finn snuggled against Poe's chest, feeling him flush when his hands settled on the smooth roundness of his gut.

"Comfy?"

"Mmph." He wiped the come on his hand off on Poe's shoulder and took a shaky breath. "Y'know, I think we need another bath." 

"Maybe later. You go ahead and sleep, sweetheart." Poe soothed. He was preening Finn with absent affection, lips and tongue swiping gentle on the side of his neck. "I'll wake you up when something interesting happens." 

"Hm." Finn sighed and let his eyes ease shut, face pillowed in the curve of Poe's collarbone and still clutching a handful of his belly. Frankly, he was pretty sure most events in his life could qualify as interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here have smut while i try to figure out plot


	6. Chapter 6

"Can we change the radio station?" Rey groaned. Finn stuck out his tongue and cranked up the ABBA so the whole car seemed to rattle and thrum with the bassline, much to Rey's chagrin. The two of them agreed on many points, but music was not one of them. "I hate you."

"Feeling's mutual." Finn laughed. Desperate to get away from the 80's music, Rey undid her seatbelt and rolled down the window, hopping up to sit on the sill with little regard for basic rules of the road. While Rey was a good driver, she had never technically gotten her driver's licence, for obvious reasons. More often than not she forgot that seat belts were even a thing. "That's not safe."

"Yeah? You're no fun." Rey countered before sticking her upper half back out of the window, hair whipping around in the wind and a smile on her face. Finn sighed in resignation and turned his attention back to the sprawling expanse of desert road before them. Well, she would probably be alright.

They had spent the night with Maz, loading up the borrowed Camino at the crack of dawn with whatever they had salvaged from their broken down car, a thermos of hot chocolate each, and the promise to visit in the winter. Finn had left with a little something extra, though. Maz had waylaid him in the front door and pressed something into his hands, a conspiratorial grin on her wrinkled face. Finn had looked down to find he was holding two honest-to-God wands. One was a rich amber colour, a sturdy thing intricately wrought with curling floral designs and humming with a steady energy. The other was slender and smooth as marble, a streamlined design meant for duelling, from what Finn could infer. He had bit back a sigh, not wanting to hurt Maz's feelings. This was too much Harry Potter shit for four in the morning.

"I made wands, back in the day. Never got the chance to do one for Rey, though." Maz said fondly, closing Finn's fingers over the two innocuous looking rods. "Yours is the rowan one. Tricky wood, but you look like the type who can handle it, I say. I'm not saying you have to use it." she added, seeing his disbelieving expression. "Just consider it. Magic comes in handy, trust me."

Finn had nodded, if reluctantly, then Maz had sent him on his way, watching from the door as they sped off into the distance, the extra horsepower Rey had coaxed into the Camino raising a cloud of dust behind them. Finn hoped to God that the police didn't make a habit of patrolling these parts. Then again, they could probably outrun them in this thing.

When Finn gave Rey her wand she had immediately stuck it out of the window and blown up a cactus they were passing with astonishing accuracy, but Finn had tucked his safely away in the glove compartment. He appreciated the thought, of course he did, but such a concrete reminder that he wasn't normal didn't do wonders for his mental state. The fact that his boyfriend had a tail was hard enough to grasp.

Finn didn't deny that magic would be useful to him. Obviously it was a skill, while not being something he would put on a resume. What would be the harm in learning? But he had too much on his plate, he reminded himself. No need to throw in more craziness.

"How're you doing back there, sweetheart?" Finn put all that out of his mind and did a quick shoulder check, smiling when Poe poked his head inside to kiss the back of his ear. Rey and Maz had enchanted the hold in the rear to be watertight and invisible to anyone non-magic, really facilitating the fact that they were basically a supernatural aquarium on wheels. At least now there wouldn't be anymore dehydration incidents. "So?"

"Could be worse." Poe laughed between kisses. Rey had knocked the Camino's rear window out so Finn and Poe could chat with each other during the drive, which had proven to be a good move. It also kept Babs happy, seeing as Poe could pet her whenever he liked. Presently she hopped out of the cupholder where she had been napping and nuzzled against Poe's wrist, purring up a storm and pawing curiously at the pretty purple collar Maz had given her. She seemed to do well on road trips. Better than Poe, at any rate. 

"Take a nap or something, Poe. Reno's still a few hours away. And being turned into a human sounds tiring." Poe just laughed against his neck and nuzzled a bit closer. Finn really wished that he could pull him into a kiss here and now. Self driving cars would be a real blessing at the moment. "Looking forward to it?"

"Can't wait. Especially 'cause I'll be able to-" Unable to resist, Finn turned back so Poe could whisper something suggestive in his ear, then the car suddenly veered left with a shriek. Poe was thrown back and Finn let out a frankly undignified yelp, realising that he had very nearly drifted off into the sand. Talk about distracted driving.

"Eyes on the road, Romeo." Rey chided, unhooking her foot from the steering wheel and kicking Finn's shoulder. "Nearly rammed a cactus. So irresponsible."

"Like you can talk." Finn rolled his eyes and tried to concentrate on nothing but the asphalt ahead of him. That was kind of hard though. He had Rey's feet in his lap, Poe's laughter behind him, and  _Dancing Queen_ on the radio. Distracting as all hell, but all in all, this wasn't the worst way to spend his weekend.

 

\-------------

 

"This looks..." Finn narrowed his eyes, taking in the neighbourhood with careful suspicion. Was that a kid's lemonade stand? That seemed too quintessential to be real. "Surprisingly normal." he concluded as they drove through the broad, tree-lined streets. When Finn thought about where witches and wizards lived, his mind still went to castle towers and rickety cabins deep in the woods. A detached bungalow in a Reno suburb with a pretty little garden out front didn't exactly fit that image.

Yet that was exactly where Rey was directing him, for whatever reason. Finn decided not to dwell on it, as he didn't dwell on most things in his life. The whole thing was kind of ridiculous, after all. Technically speaking, he was a magic fisherman living in Cape Cod with a merman boyfriend and witch roommate. Honestly. It was like he was living in a fucking fantasy Mad Lib. Even he couldn't take his own existence seriously.

They pulled up a gravel driveway in a cul de sac, brakes groaning and the engine puttering to a grateful stop. Rey had sort of been abusing the poor thing for the past hundred miles. Finn was honestly surprised that the tires hadn't just fallen off yet. At the very least they wouldn't have to drive back. God knows how that would go. Luke was digging in his garden, planting flowers that didn't seem climate appropriate for Nevada. But then, magic probably took care of that. When Rey hopped out of the car he pushed up his floppy orange sunhat and smiled, tossing his gloves into a flowerpot and dusting off his calloused hands.

"Hi, Uncle Luke."

"Hi, kid. It's been awhile. Got your driver's licence, yet?"

"No, she hasn't." Finn sighed, getting out of the car and stretching. He had met Luke a year back at Christmas, and they had gotten along well enough. "Hi, Luke."

"Finn. You want to unpack?"

"That would be great." Finn admitted, glancing at the car. Their spells on the car had all flickered and died a couple miles back, so Poe was laying as still as he could under a couple old towels and a painter's sheet. The only indication that he was still alive in there was the occasional muffled _fuck_ when Finn drove over a pothole.

"'Course, but before you do, I should just..." After casting a quick glance around them Luke pulled a handsome yew wand out of one of his pockets. Probably Maz's handiwork. A couple words whispered under his breath, then a silvery shield flickered to life around the house like a bubble. When Finn looked down at his hands he noticed that they were vaguely transparent, shimmering around the edges. Rey was the same, and Babs seemed to be bemused by that, patting curiously at where Luke's feet had been a moment before. "Cloaking spell." he provided.

"Great. Ariel won't cause a panic, now." 

"I resent that remark." Poe called from the car. He flopped out onto the ground and shook himself off, once again placing Finn in the awkward position of having to reassure himself that he wasn't dating an actual seal. He flopped over to them and extended his hand to Luke, a winning smile on his face. "Poe Dameron."

"Dameron, huh? Name sounds familiar..." Luke seemed to be on the verge of saying something more, then he decided against it and waved the four of them inside, letting the shield drop as soon as Poe's tail was through the door. Finn might have caught sight of a very confused kid standing across the road with a basketball in hand and a mystified look in her eyes, but he decided not to bring it up.

Seeing as he wasn't in the middle of nowhere as Maz had been, Luke probably couldn't be quite as transparent with the whole supernatural thing. His house was neat and tidy and simple. No one would ever suspect him of being a wizard. There were little hints, though. The crystal ball on the sideboard that had a dishtowel draped over it, for one. On his way past Finn peeked inside and was greeted with a flash of bright blue light. Foreboding, but hell if he knew what it symbolized.   

Eventually everyone settled in his sitting room with slices of blueberry crumble and mugs of hot chocolate, Luke in a big overstuffed armchair by the window, Rey dancing around the room looking at the pictures on the wall, and Finn and Poe sharing the couch. A cosy setup, only Finn was pretty sure that it might startle any Girl Guides who happened by in the hopes of selling some Tagalongs. 

"Right, so I've got good news, and I've got bad news." Luke began, turning to Finn and Poe. "You know that you're a selkie, right?" 

"Wait, I am?" Bewildered, Poe looked up from the hot chocolate he had stolen from Finn after downing his own mug in about one minute. As usual he hadn't seemed to be fazed by the fact that it was scalding hot. Finn wondered about that, sometimes. "Really?"

"Really. Haven't you been listening?" Rey asked, sounding absolutely bewildered.

"I was kinda preoccupied by the fact that I'd been turned into a seal. Sorry for not keeping up with the plot." Finn rolled his eyes and rested his head in Poe's lap, grinning when Poe begrudgingly scratched behind his ear. "But seriously? A selkie? You keep piling backstory on me." Poe complained as Finn tugged the borrowed shirt down over his belly. "I'm already a fish person. Is it too much to ask to be a _normal_ fish person?"

"I guess it is." Luke shrugged. "That has its perks, though. Selkies can shed their pelt and turn human without being all jelly-legged like a fish would be. If we find your sealskin you might be able to switch between as much as you like. Fully human, fully seal. You could have your top half be a seal and your bottom half be human, too. I'm not sure why you would want that, but you could. That's the good news."

"And the bad news?" Finn prodded. 

"Well, some selkies, when their skin's returned to them..." Luke cleared his throat and shrugged, tracing the wood grain of his coffee table with the tip of his wand. It was a kind of childish gesture, uncertain and guilty. "Well, some selkies can switch as much as they like, but others can't turn back into humans again. They go back out to sea and never come back. Ever." 

For a moment the room fell silent with the weight of what had just been said. Rey furrowed her brow and Finn kept opening his mouth to say something, but nothing particularly coherent came out. That had been a bit of a bomb Luke had just dropped, after all. 

"Huh." Finally Rey settled back against the arm of the couch, looking absently concerned. "That's fucked up."

"Yep." Poe chimed in. Finn nodded in agreement and wrapped his arms around Poe as tight as he could. That had not been news he had hoped to get after driving cross country. Poe rested a hand on Finn's head with a heavy sigh, but not a resigned one. Finn looked up to see that his expression was firm as ever, like that revelation hadn't deterred him in the slightest. Finn suddenly understood how he had swum from Cape Cod to the Gulf of Honduras year after year. If Poe was one thing, it was persistent. 

"You still want to try, don't you?" 

"I want to try." Poe said quietly. Finn nodded and buried his face in Poe's belly, taking a deep breath. "I still really, _really_ want to try."

"Alright then." Maybe it scared him, and maybe risking Poe wasn't something he even wanted to consider, but Finn smiled at Poe and sat up, looking at Luke and hoping that his expression wouldn't betray him. "So where would it be? His sealskin, I mean."

"Good question." Luke got to his feet, looking rather pleased when Babs crawled up onto his shoulder, buzzing with satisfied purrs. He had given her a generous helping of turkey bacon, which had put him firmly in her good favour. "Let's find out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i put off this chapter for nearly two months and then i got the flu and wrote it all in one day. im so sorry


	7. Chapter 7

The air was damp and cool, tickling Finn's nose like the sickly sweet steam from that aromatherapy shop downtown. He screwed up his face, knowing that sneezing would cause a really awkward echo to ring through the entire stairwell. They had been walking for ages, spiralling deeper into what felt like the Evil Queen's dungeon from _Snow White_. The door they had come through was completely out of sight, now. It had been unassuming from the top floor, just a walk-in pantry off of the kitchen, mint green and scrubbed within an inch of its life. But, as Finn had come to accept when it came to Rey's relatives, nothing was ever normal. Everything had to have a goddamned spin on it.

Rey and Luke had gone a bit ahead, Rey listening to some mystical wisdom Luke was imparting about spellcasting, maybe. Finn wasn't really paying attention. Poe was a lot more fun to focus on. He was bringing up the rear, flopping along and grumbling to himself about pointless dramatic stairs and people having no regard for those without the benefit of a proper lower body. At the very least he had the use of his arms. If he were still a seal, God knows how they would get by.  

"You want me to carry you?" Finn offered. Poe just stuck out his tongue, a rather risky manoeuvre, what with the fangs and all. That never seemed to deter him, though.

"Quit babying me, would you? I've still got some dignity. I think. Somewhere in here. I'll find it one day." Poe slumped against the wall and grunted, rubbing his wrists while he squinted at Finn in the low light. No one had had the foresight to pick up flashlights, so Finn had ignited his hands with flickering flames, lighting their way in eerie blue. At least Finn thought it was eerie. Poe thought it had more of a nightclub vibe. He had blundered his way into a fancy beachside one while he was in Florida, accidentally swum into their private little cove lounge. It was Halloween, though, so rather than causing a panic, he just got asked to take a bunch of selfies and let people who were impressed with his "costume" buy him drinks. The club had made some great rainbow sangrias, apparently. 

Finn sat down beside Poe and grinned, pressing a kiss to his sweaty curls, keeping him company during his break. "Want some water?"

Poe nodded sheepishly and Finn whispered something under his breath, a water spell he had let Rey teach him, only because it was so convenient for their circumstances. The flames in his right hand quavered; the crackles and pops calming to the soothing burble of a forest creek. Poe watched in delight, looking at the swirling ball of water that had appeared in Finn's hand.

"You're like Korra." he laughed.

"Shush." Finn rolled his eyes and smacked the orb on top of Poe's head like a water balloon. Poe didn't seem all that annoyed, though, shaking his head with complete disregard to the fact that he was getting Finn wet, too. "And _you're_ like a wet dog."

"That's rude." Poe pouted before kissing Finn's cheek, lips warm and damp. "Thanks, sweetheart."

"My pleasure." Finn smiled as Poe's kisses wandered closer to his mouth, hands slipping over Finn's chest. Well, the stairwell was pretty dark... 

"You two coming?" Rey called from what seemed to be a considerable distance away. They snapped away from each other, Poe's expression a bit sour. His ordeal wasn't over, unfortunately.

"Give us a sec." Finn got to his feet and held out a hand before remembering that it wouldn't do much to help Poe out. "Oh. Right."

"Fuck stairs." Poe grumbled, flopping along at Finn's side. Finn gave his butt a fond pat and Poe swatted him with his tail, mumbling about how Luke should just hurry up and install an elevator already.

 

\----------------

 

If Finn had though Maz's house was a bit over the top, nothing could have prepared him for what was hiding in Luke's basement. Most people just had rec rooms or sex dungeons, but Skywalkers always had to be special, didn't they?

They stood in what appeared to be a cathedral, austere and lofty above their heads. Innumerable dragon skulls, tagged and numbered with date and subspecies, were hanging from the ceiling, surrounded by bunches of potions which had been strung up like bushels of fruit in the gloomy rafters. The shelves were heaped with scrolls and cauldrons and all manner of instruments Finn didn't have names for, all sparkling like they had been freshly polished before being crammed haphazardly onto the shelf. He felt like if you breathed, something would fall, but Poe was a bit bolder than that, bouncing around after Rey while she inspected Luke's collection, picking up whatever struck her fancy, mostly very scary weapons or the glowing terrariums filled with oddly curving vines that curled and coiled like snakes. Finn could have sworn one of them blinked a round yellow eye at him before dozing off again.

And to top it all off, there was a phonograph in the corner blaring Schubert. Who the fuck still owned a phonograph? 

"What is it with you magic people and weird trinkets? I don't get it." Poe lifted the witch hat Rey had stuck on his head, brow creased. "It's like you ransacked the set of Harry Potter. Y'know Rey has a painting that literally does nothing but insult me? What's the point of owning that?" 

"Because we can." Luke said comfortably, picking his way over to the fireplace in the corner. He lifted the cover off of the big brass cauldron simmering over a purple fire, the smoke it let off like cool evening air. Luke nodded and tossed in a handful of herbs, making the smoke flare up for a moment. Cautious, Finn crept closer, squinting at the swirling eddies of light.

"What's going on?"

"Tracking spell?" Rey suggested. She still hadn't put down a handsome silver broadsword she had dug up under a couple manuscripts. Finn would ask, but he was a little bit nervous about doing so.

"Exactly. Poe, we'll need you over here." Luke turned and raised an eyebrow when he saw Poe making faces at the grumpy old toad sitting on top of a stack of a spellbook. "Leave her alone, you."

"We're not cooking me, are we?" Poe asked as he bounced over. Luke rolled his eyes and reached down, plucking a bit of Poe's hair in a swift stroke. "Hey!"

"You have enough hair." He scattered the strands in the cauldron and sat back, watching as the colour shifted from purple to orange and back again, the smoke thickening overhead, forming a flickering screen. As Finn watched, the shapes shifted, solidified; he caught glimpses of coral, a cave full of glittering coins, like a pirates hoard.

"Where the fuck is that?" Rey blurted out. But Poe was quiet, studying the image.

"I know that place." He cocked his head, chewing delicately on his lower lip. "What's with the treasure chests?"

"I should've known..." Luke turned his head so Babs could climb out of his hood, get a look at the show for herself. "Well, selkie skins are something of a collector's item. Rather precious in certain circles. Mounted on the wall they look quite impressive. Cruel and unusual, but impressive. I think I know where this is, actually. Stole a couple things from here, in my younger years."

"Same here." Poe snorted and nuzzled his cheek against Finn's knee. There was something catlike about the gesture. "It's a sea witch's hoard off Tampa, I think. One of the coves. Haven't been in awhile, but I know the area. I can get it on my own, no sweat."

"If you insist. I'll set up a portal to somewhere nearby." Luke offered, rolling up his sleeves. "It may take awhile, though. You all stay the night, alright? And Rey, I'd sure appreciate some help with this." 

"Really?" Luke nodded and Rey's face brightened. It was still adorable, how excited this whole magic thing made her. Well, adorable if you ignored the sword she was still holding. Finn had a feeling she was getting attached to it.

"We'll head back, then." Finn decided, scooping Babs out of Luke's hood. She was half-asleep, so for once she didn't protest being manhandled. "Thanks, Luke. G'night, Rey." Luke nodded over his spellbook and Rey blew him a kiss, still smiling a wide, ridiculous smile. Finn couldn't get enough of that smile, had made it personal mission to keep it on Rey's face as much as possible. 

Once those two were completely absorbed in their manuscripts and vials Finn followed Poe back over to the stairwell, hands shoved in his pocket. This whole situation was making him antsy, having his boyfriend potentially stuck as a sea mammal for the rest of his life. Not the relationship drama Finn had anticipated for himself, but still. He was sort of emotionally invested in the guy.

"You're sure about this?" he asked again, slipping Babs into his pocket.

"Unless you figure out a way to breathe underwater, I don't see how you can tag along, sweetheart." Poe shrugged and took Finn's hand. "I'll be fine. Don't you worry." Finn nodded and Poe grinned, but that didn't last long. "I'm gonna have to climb those stairs, aren't I?"

"'Fraid so." 

"Fuck me." Poe groaned, starting to drag himself upwards, his hips wiggling in the most distracting way as he dragged himself along. 

"Maybe later." Finn said absently, most of his attention focused on Poe's ass. That earned him another tail swat and an over the shoulder death stare. He probably deserved it, honestly.

 

\---------------

 

Finn spent part of the night tossing and turning on the couch, almost tumbling off a couple times. Babs had started the night curled up at his head, but eventually she mewled her grievances and sunk off to join Poe in the bathtub down the hall. After another hour of being restless Finn went that route too, wrapping his blanket around his shoulders and padding over to the bathroom.

"Poe?" He got a muffled response and turned the bathroom light on, squinting at Poe, who yawned and sat up, groggy and pale in the fluorescent yellow light. 

"What're you doing up, sweetheart? Christ, it's one in the morning..." Poe clambered out of the tub and shook himself off, considering Finn with tired eyes. "You alright?"

"Yeah, just..." Finn slid down onto the ground and shook his head, closing his eyes when Poe slung an arm around his shoulder and squeezed, his tail wrapped around Finn's ankles, warm and heavy. "I just..."

"What's the matter?"

"I don't want you to leave." Finn mumbled. He curled against Poe's chest, breathing in the salt of his skin, the curl of seaside air that reminded him of home. 

"Hey, it'll be alright, Finn. Trust me. I'll be back. I wouldn't leave you. Pinky promise." Poe stuck out his finger and smiled, his tail swishing on the tile. He looked so confident, so certain the he would come back. And Finn really, really wanted to believe him.

"Okay. Pinky promise." Finn accepted Poe's hand, using it to pull him into a quick kiss, sealing the deal. "I'll hold you to that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look i know its been a month i can explain


	8. Chapter 8

Finn watched water drip out of the tap, Poe snoring at his side and his arm numb from being pinned all night long. He had spent the night curled up with his head on Poe's chest, avoiding the sunrise when it poked him in the face, needling his eyelids like a swarm of hungry mosquitos. He refused to get up, because that would mean Poe would have to leave, which would mean Finn would be left in a rather lonely spot for God knows how long.

Because, for all the ridiculousness, and the sore arms, and the fact that their water bill was through the roof, Finn loved the guy, more than he thought he could.

"Hi." Yawning as he woke up, Poe dragged his cheek against Finn's forehead, rough as sandpaper. "You alright?"

"Yeah. Just...just scared, I guess." Finn looked around the room, tracing the seashells embedded in the backsplash. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I just...it's something I have to do, y'know? I might never get a chance like this again." Poe tried to explain, petting Babs when she hopped out of the robe hanging on the door. She had claimed the pocket as her bed for the night, as she was wont to do. She fucking loved pockets.

"Don't be sorry. It's something you have to do, so you should do it. I'm not gonna stop you. I'm just gonna be really annoying about it."

"Fair enough." Poe sat up, pulling Finn with him and grumbling about how sore he was. He arranged Finn in his lap and squeezed, nuzzling Finn's neck, kissing and nipping like a mama cat. It was getting harder and harder for Finn to convince himself that he hadn't gotten into a relationship with an actual seal. "Love you."

"Love you, too. Hey, you want to marry me when you get back?" Finn yawned, barely registering the fact that he just technically proposed. "It'd be nice, seeing you walk down the aisle. Show off the fact you've got legs."

"Did you just..." Poe's voice was bubbling like champagne when Finn opened his eyes, his face flooding with warmth. Well, that had been anticlimactic. "Do you want to marry me?"

"I..." That had not been how Finn anticipated proposing. He had figured there would be more sunsets involved. Champagne, maybe. That cheesecake he knew Poe loved. Definitely a ring. But he could make this work. He took a deep breath and squeezed Poe's hand. "Will you marry me?"

Poe laughed, loud enough to wake the rest of the house, probably. He pulled Finn close, crushing him in a hug. Or a vice grip; Finn wasn't quite sure which one it was. "Of course I'll marry you. Of course I will. Now I've got something to look forward to when I come home." His tail was slapping on the tile, the way it always did when he was excited.

'That's some good motivation right there." Finn agreed, giggling to himself while Poe peppered his face with kisses. Elation was blowing up his heart like a balloon, competing with the fear trying to crush it. "We should celebrate."

"We should." Poe agreed, a pointy smile spreading across his face. Finn let Poe pull him into a proper kiss, figuring that he could save all of his worrying for later. Much, much later.

 

\------------

 

"So..." Poe began slowly, weighing the sword Luke had just given him. It was a worthless duplicate of the one Rey had claimed as her own, ornate and glowing with a steady blue light. Apparently the real version was special, had magical properties and all that. Finn didn't want to look any deeper into it. "I give this to Snoke, and he'll trade it for my skin? Man, that sounds weird..."

"I know, but it's true. Snoke would kill to have that sword in his little collection. It's made for more than being mounted up on the wall, though. He'll have to make do with a knockoff." Luke said comfortably.

Snoke was the one who had taken Poe's skin, stuck it in his little hoard somewhere off the coast of Florida. It was something of a black market hotspot, and despite the fact that it was underwater, the occasional unscrupulous figure made their way down there to barter with the old seadevil.

They were back in Luke's little study again, watching a blue portal that led God knew where swirl and churn in the floor. Luke had summoned it up just in time for an unsuspecting herring to jump up and hit Finn squarely in the jaw. He hadn't appreciated that, but Babs was more than happy to gnaw on it while Poe got his kit together and said his goodbyes. Presently he flopped over and kissed the top of her head, not minding the smell of fish. That would be a tad hypocritical. 

"Bye, Babs. Listen to your dad, okay?" She nuzzled his nose with hers, purring until Poe pulled away and handed her to Finn. Then she mewled a little plaintively, her little orange face scrunched up and grumpy. She was rather emotive, for a cat.

"Be careful, Ariel." Finn reminded him, leaning down to press a kiss to Poe's forehead. He had to hold Bebe back from climbing into Poe's backpack. "We'll be here when you get back."

"I know you will." After one more kiss, Poe slipped inside the portal and disappeared, leaving behind nothing but a puddle of sea water and a very confused crab. Finn had to restrain himself from jumping in after him. When the portal snapped shut, he sat down on the edge of the overflowing table, his stomach twisting up in knots.

"Well, that settles that, then." Luke decided, putting the crab in an old potion jar. Whatever used to be in there made the poor thing turn aquamarine, but that was probably fine. "We'll reopen the portal in an hour or so. Funny guy, Poe. I knew his parents, I think."

"He has parents? I always thought he just popped outta the sea foam one day." Rey said absently, practising footwork with the sword she had picked up the day before. Over the past twenty four hours she had grown very attached to it. Finn would ask, but he was too scared to do so.

"Surprisingly not. Shara was a lot like him. Roving everywhere. Real nomad type. Most selkies aren't that great at navigation, but Shara taught Poe well." Luke recalled, flipping absently through a spellbook. "Few times a year she'd manage to find her way home, go up on land for a little. She had a husband, even. Kes. Kes Dameron. She was always calling him from weird places. His phone bill was through the roof. " he concluded, wandering off and getting lost in a stack of scrolls. He would find his way back eventually.

"I thought he was just a fish..." Why did everyone around him have to be a fucking cryptid? "His dad had a baby with a mermaid?" Finn asked the air, his forehead crinkling up while he tried to work out the logistics of that.

"Don't look so scandalized, Finn. I suppose you and Poe spend your evenings braiding each other's hair?" Rey asked innocently. Finn opened his mouth to protest, but she had a point.

"Okay, but we're not making babies." Finn pointed out. Talk about your interracial couple. Rey rolled her eyes and jabbed him gently with her sword. It still hurt a bit, though. That thing was sharp.

"I could make a potion for that, if you ever did want to make me an auntie." The offer made Finn snort, but Rey just grinned like she was mulling something over. Eventually she shrugged and stuffed her hands in her pockets; the way she was rocking back and forth on her heels made her look like a kid. "Hey, so I was thinking...Luke offered to train me. Properly. And you could train, too, y'know? We could learn together." A hopeful smile quirked at her lips, and Finn tried to return it. Once again: still on the fence about the whole magic thing. "What d'you say?"

"Well..."

Finn was cut short by a sudden rumble, the ground quaking under his feet. Rey nearly toppled over and Finn grabbed her arm, turning to Luke for answers, only to find him standing petrified as a plume of black smoke went up in the middle of the room, like a miniature atomic bomb had been set off.

Coughing, Finn staggered back, along with Rey. Babs was hissing in his hood, and Luke stood stiff as a statue before the swirling fog, his fists clenched, the metal one clicking and ticking as a man emerged, all in black and carrying a blackwood wand, sparking with a red energy, seeping out of the cracks in the wood. His eyes rested on Finn for a moment and the scowl on his face deepened, then he turned to Luke, eyes as dark as the smoke surrounding him.

"Uncle." he twisted his lip, an ugly sneer that contorted his long, narrow face. "It's been awhile."

 

\-------------

 

The portal spat Poe out with the force of a tidal wave, sending him careening into a patch of seaweed. Cussing, he pushed himself up and away from the school of grunt fish he had startled. Poe watched them scatter around him, a laugh bubbling out of his throat. Of course, he wanted this done and over with, but it felt so fucking good to be in the water again, doing barrel rolls and riding the waves, swimming through schools of fish and watching their silver scales glimmer around him.

Eventually, Poe found his way to the cave they had seen in Luke's little smokescreen. He peeked out from behind a rock, hesitating before venturing to swim towards the mouth of the cave, trying to ignore the fact it was glowing a foreboding red, the exact colour of blood. Maybe they were roasting marshmallows in there.

It probably wasn't that, but Poe could dream.

"Hello?" His voice echoed off of the walls as he poked his head inside, which he hadn't known was possible underwater. With no answer but his own words being bounced back at him, Poe swam through the mountains of trinkets, knickknacks, odds and ends he couldn't find names for. It was different from the mess in Luke's house, though. All of Luke's clutter had a purpose, a job. There was a lot of it, but he used it all. This stuff was just for show.

Overall, this was like _The Hobbit_ , Poe decided. Only a whole lot wetter.

There were marble statues, jewelry, fossils, old paintings. There was even a sleek red Ferrari sitting in the corner, filled to the brim with jewels and coins. Poe was pretty sure he spotted that one Van Gogh still life that had gone missing from Cairo a few years back. Maybe he would slip it into his backpack on the way out, collect that five million reward. That would be a good wedding gift, Poe figured. Finn could install a bigger bathtub.

While he was admiring a bust of Beethoven, he heard movement on the second level of the cave, coming from a limestone balcony carved into the wall. He ducked beneath a grand piano just as a door made from an ornate mahogany bookshelf was pushed open, the hinges squeaking with decades of rust. Poe would suggest oil, but they were likely too far gone for that.

"Who...are...you?" An old, deep, wheezing voice demanded. How could you wheeze underwater?

"I'm...I'm Poe." It had taken every bit of his willpower not to mimic the voice's rather languid speech patterns. "And you're Snoke, right?"

"Who I am..." There was movement up above him, a hulking shadow thrown across a marble mural. "...That is no concern of yours."

"But I _do_ have something that is a concern of yours. I'm here on business. Got a barter for you."

"Do you?" At the mention of a barter, the wheezing stopped. And suddenly Snoke was right in front of Poe, leering over him, appraising him like a newly acquired collectable. He had the face of a pruned-up old man, scarred and white from a life of never seeing the sun. His bottom half was probably some cephalopod, judging by the curling, spasming bouquet of...appendages. Christ, Poe was terrified of squids. Thankfully, Snoke had draped himself in a heavy black robe of sorts, hiding most of him from view.

"I remember you. Nasty little thief." His scars jerked his face even more when he snarled, the reflection you would see in a broken mirror. "What is your offer?"

"You get this," Poe began, taking the sword off of his back and holding it out to Snoke by the scabbard. "In exchange for one of those." He nodded at the dozens upon dozens of sealskins he had noticed pinned up on the wall above the volcanic fireplace. That certainly was an interior design choice.

"Hm..." Languid as ever, Snoke turned to consider the skins, as though noticing them for the first time. "I've been offered a good price for that skin of yours, you know." Snoke slunk over to them, checking the tags he had pinned to the skins and nodding to himself when he found what must be Poe's. "Hm. You're worth more than you know. These skins don't come cheap, you know. Selkies are...a rare commodity."

Poe twisted up his face while Snoke's back was turned, not liking the implication of that. Classically speaking, selkies were taken as loyal, if unwilling lovers. You stole their skin, they had to do whatever you liked. Usually that involved marriage. In essence, a human who owned a selkie's skin owned the selkie. It wasn't exactly fuel for a healthy relationship.

"Well, I don't particularly feel like being owned." Poe said bluntly. "C'mon, don't you want this sword thingy? Sounds like a good trade to me." he coaxed, swimming over and prodding Snoke with it. "I hear it's special. Wouldn't know myself, but I got a couple friends in the field, and they've all been clamouring for it."

"Where did you find this?" Snoke wheezed, inspecting the sword with jealous scrutiny. Poe shrugged and pulled it back, holding it close to his chest and shaking his head.

"Doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm selling. I want to see what I'm buying too, pal." he insisted, cocking an eyebrow. Begrudgingly, Snoke unhooked Poe's skin, hovering over it possessively before thrusting it into his arms and yanking away the sword with one of his tentacles. "Okay. I guess you can have that..."

Poe balled up his skin and stuffed it in his bag while Snoke carried the sword over to a huge desk looming over them both. It looked like something out of a courtroom, stern and solemn, a coat of arms carved into the front that had been smoothed out overtime. How the hell did that thing get down here?

"It's been great, but I gotta run." Poe began, slowly backing away as Snoke pored over the hilt of the sword with a huge magnifying glass, making the eyes that had sunk deep into his face bug out like a fly's. He looked like a judge sitting up there, all in black and scowling the way he was. Ever so slowly, that scowl deepened, lining his face even further. It was probably time for Poe to take his leave.

"A _fake_!" Snoke roared, right as Poe got to the mouth of the cave. The water trembled around him, a shockwave making his whole body quake. Poe's eyes went wide and he bolted, bubbles clouding his vision as he shot through the water like a torpedo, Snoke still shrieking and carrying on behind him. He had a feeling this was the end of that business relationship.

 

\---------------

 

After swimming for a couple hours, Poe finally took a break, flopping down on a rock near where the portal had been and gasping. What the hell was taking them so long? Luke had said it would be open, by now. Figuring they had just been held up, Poe shrugged and pulled out his skin, smoothing his hands over the fur, bristly as a hairbrush. It was heavy and familiar in his hands, like a blankie that thumb-sucking kid carried around in those waterlogged _Peanuts_ comics Poe kept on his shelf. Curious, Poe draped it over his shoulders, only to regret that decision a moment later.

It sank into his back, grafting on and starting to spread. His backpack melted in as well, which was a nifty trick Poe was too panicked to take note of. Almost immediately his skin went grey and spotty, and already his voice was lowering, coarsening into a seal's bark.

"Fuck-" He cut off in a growl and tried to cover his mouth, only to realise he had stubby little flippers in place of hands. Panic settled in and he flailed, swimming up and breaking the surface with a raucous splash, startling the people on the dock. Among them there was a little girl, who smiled so wide at the sight of him that Poe could swear he saw her molars.

"Seal!" she squealed. Poe barked in protest, but she just laughed, clapping her dimpled hands and reaching for him, wanting to pet him like a dog, probably. Begrudgingly, he swam over and let her give him a couple clumsy pats, ducking back down when her dad noticed. He could still hear her laughing and giggling as he swam away. Well, at least somebody was happy about this mess.

He skulked about until nighttime, avoiding fishing boats and delighting a couple tourists. He waved at one of them and got thrown a piece of their battered cod, so that was nice. Good to know that he could ply the fact he was adorable to get food. He did that a lot, now that he thought about it. Although typically it only worked on Finn.

Once the last boat was docked and the fish and chips shop flipped the sign to closed, Poe hopped up onto the dock and flopped around until he found a discarded tourist map lying on the ground, crumpled and waterlogged, but still somewhat legible. Turns out he had wound up at the very tip of Florida, of all places. He would laugh, but the situation was rather dire. How the hell was he supposed to get home like this?

Frustrated, he smacked the dock with his flipper and snorted, turning over what little shoulder he had left and looking unhappily at the big, empty expanse of water he was expected to swim across.

Did the ocean have Uber?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so many plot points, so little time


	9. Chapter 9

 Poe stewed unhappily in the shallows beneath the dock, munching on a mollusk, not all that enamoured with the taste. It could use a bit of salt and spices, but what could he do? There wasn't anything else on the menu. According to the signs plastered on the seawall, the people visiting the docks weren't allowed to throw him any fish and chips. That was a bummer, not to mention the fact it left him with a rumbling stomach. He would be lying if he said he hadn't been tempted to jump up and grab a hot dog out of an unwary tourist's hand. That would have made for a great viral video.

He had spent the past few hours scavenging at high tide and worrying about Finn and Rey, wondering how he would make his way back inland. All he could hope for was that he would be able to get his figurative hands on a phone and call Finn, at some point. Then there would be all the trouble of trying to dial with flippers, but he would cross that bridge when he got there.

As Poe was making an attempt to force down the last of his underwhelming breakfast, he heard a shambling step on the sand, the sound of someone humming under their breath. Fully anticipating another uncalled for photoshoot, he looked up and turned his good side towards the selfie stick he figured would be thrust in his face. Then he froze, eyes going a little wide when he saw the man ambling his way, not even paying Poe any mind.

He was tall and lanky, bundled up against the early morning chill in a puffy old overcoat, his chin to his chest and back a little hunched as he trudged across the sand. He was familiar, too familiar. Then he looked up and Poe could have whooped in delight.

"Dad!" he called, bouncing over to Kes, dignity be damned. "Dad, it's me! It's Poe!”

At least, that was what he heard in his head, but unfortunately that didn't come across very well. When Poe bounced over, barking and grunting, Kes jumped, staring down at him in disbelief before staggering back and nearly tripping on a log. Clearly, he didn't recognize Poe in the slightest. Not that he was to blame for that. It had been a couple decades, and generally turning into a seal wasn't a part of puberty.

"Easy, seal, easy..." Kes kept his hands up, as though this was a stickup. So when Poe cuddled up to him like a kitten, he was rather bemused. "The fuck?" he mumbled, watching Poe slump against his worn converse, purring up a storm. Something flickered across his face, then he shook his head and waved his hands, trying to chase him off. "C'mon, just get back in the water where you belong..."

Rather than listening, Poe barked and smacked the sand in protest, raising a bit of a stir as he hopped up on the docks and followed Kes to the parking lot, enduring the halfhearted shooing and minor profanity. So that was where Poe's potty mouth came from. There goes that lifelong mystery.

"What? D'you want food? I don't have food." Kes insisted, getting up onto his truck. He had written this off as nothing but a weird morning already, Poe could tell. He had to convince him somehow...

"Dad!" he barked, his voice garbled and nearly incomprehensible. Talking hurt his throat, but Poe had bigger worries right now. After all, he had a fiancé to get back to. "Dad!"

Kes froze at that, one foot still in his truck. It took a second, but when he finally made his way down Poe huffed out a relieved sigh. That had been a near miss.

"Poe?" Kes said softly, looking Poe in the eye with as much gravitas as he could muster. "That you?"

Poe bobbed his head like a seesaw, hoping that what couldn't be said with words could be conveyed with enthusiasm. He bounced over and butted against Kes' ankle, relief loosening the knot in his throat. When Kes crouched Poe basically threw himself at him, dignity forgotten. This was his dad, after all. What was the shame in wanting a hug?

"It's really you, kid?" Kes asked, his voice a little shaky. Poe nodded and huffed into Kes' neck, which didn't get all that much across, but it was the thought that counts. "Well, it's either that or I've completely lost my mind..."

Poe snorted and shook his head, hoping that was reassuring. He slapped the car with one of his flippers, asking for a ride as best he could. After thinking about it for a long while, Kes nodded and yanked his army green baseball cap down over his greying curls, as though he needed to emotionally prepare himself for the supernatural mess he pictured himself getting into.

"I can't get away from this magic bullshit, can I?" he sighed, helping Poe up into the backseat, getting a weird look from a passing cyclist. After considering it for a moment he managed to buckle Poe up, figuring that if he was going to have a seal in his car, he might as well be a safe seal. Poe churred and Kes was almost able to crack a proper grin. At the very least he had his son back, he considered as he climbed in and started up the engine. Hopefully. Either that or he had just stolen a seal off the beach. That had to be illegal, right?

 

  
\---------

 

  
"...She'll be around in a couple minutes. Her name's Rose. I taught her piano when she was a kid. Better witch than pianist, though. She put a charm on the garden awhile back, no weeds, bugs; I don't even have to water. Drives the neighbours crazy..."

Poe nodded from his perch on Kes' couch, all cozied up in a couple towels that had been dunked in the bathtub, about as comfy as he could be while hauled out on land, about a thousand miles away from where he should be. He quite liked it here, though, surrounded by books and model planes, photos of his mom holding the chubbiest merbaby he had ever seen. Not to mention the fact he had his dad back. Who wouldn't be happy about that? He only wished he could contribute more to the conversation than nods and approving grunts.

Not that there was much he was expected to say. Kes was telling Poe about a witch who could help him out with the whole sea mammal situation, if they were lucky. They weren’t generally, but maybe today would be a good day.

"...I was thinking of putting in a couple more flower beds, figure I could spruce the place up a bit. Your mom liked pentas..." As Kes was pulling something out of the oven someone knocked on the door, interrupting their one-sided conversation. He cussed and rushed off to answer it, still holding a pan of banana bread dripping with honey. "Hey, kid. Thanks for all this."

"No worries, Mr. Dameron. Oh, is that banana bread? It smells great..."

Poe perked up at the unfamiliar voice, rolling over when he felt someone prod his flank. He found himself nose to nose with a young woman, her short frame swallowed up in a baggy wool sweater that had spent a bit too long in the wash and her spiky black hair sticking out at odd angles. A heavy gold pendant hung from a bit of twine around her neck; Poe recognised it as one of the protective sigils that Rey had burnt into the walls of the apartment. She started to pet him straightaway, a delighted grin spreading across her round face as she scratched under his chin.

"Aw, look at you...where'd you find him, Mr. Dameron? And why'd you bring him home? Seems illegal."

"I told you to call me Kes, kid. And he's the reason I called you over. Uh...he's my son.” There was really no better way of putting that. "Long story."

"Oh. Uh...guess he takes after his mom?" Rose shrugged, pulling back to look at Poe. "She was a selkie, right?" She would take in good faith that Kes hadn't actually fucked a seal. "Please tell me I'm right."

"Yeah, she was." Kes nodded, filling a glass container with a batch of sugary fritters he had just finished up. He set it aside for Rose, along with a jar of papaya preserves and a couple granola bars. He never let anyone leave his house empty-handed. Even if it meant he had to raid his cupboards for something to give them. “He got stuck like this, though. Can you lend a hand?”

"I'll do my best. Should be simple enough..." Rose hoped, dropping her grimy rucksack onto the ground and pulling out various witchy things, all neatly packaged in plastic bags and labeled jars. "Good thing you caught me when you did. I was about to skip town…”

“Yeah? Where were you headed?"

"My sister went missing a week back. I need to find her before school starts again.” Rose explained, pulling out an old leather-bound spell book, pastel kitten sticky notes and makeshift newspaper bookmarks emerging from the yellowing pages. “Dunno where she could have gone…I’ve gotta track down a clairvoyant, see what they’ve got to say.”

“Damn. Good luck with that, kid. I figure it’ll turn out alright.” Kes decided, plopping down in his armchair to watch the proceedings. It was a bit of a lengthy process, bottles and scrolls and herbs all being neatly set out and ground up with a pestle, Rose mumbling spells over them as she worked. About an hour into it Poe rested his chin on Rose’s knee, listening to her talk about this and that. It was rather pleasant, actually. Even if he had nothing to contribute. But from what he gathered Rose was a mechanic, she had learnt everything she knew about magic from her older sister Paige, and she even knew about Rey and Luke, as the Skywalkers were apparently a big deal in certain occult circles. Who would have guessed?  
  
After another hour of this Poe felt about ready to doze off, but jumped when she suddenly grabbed the back of his head and tipped the bowl into his mouth. The taste of the potion was enough to make him gag; sickly sweet cough syrup all mixed up with what Poe imagined used dishwater would taste like. That was a bit of a shock.

“Sorry.” Rose said quickly, watching Poe hack and squirm on the carpet. “If I gave you warning you would’ve refused to drink it ‘cause of the smell.”

Poe had to agree with that, seeing as he was still gagging on whatever she had mixed up for him. Suddenly, an intolerable itchiness spread across his chest, like an army of ants crawling beneath his skin. He yelped and rolled over, twitching as a shiver ran up his spine like a dash of cold water, his heart rate suddenly haywire in his chest. But almost as soon as it started, it was over, and he was slumping back against the couch, his eyes squeezed shut and whole body tensed up. Well, he could feel he wasn’t quite as blubbery, at least…

“Did it work?” he asked tentatively, vaguely concerned that the spell had left a part of his body behind. Maybe he still had a seal’s head. "Rose? Put me outta my misery, here..."

"It's fine, Poe. You can open your eyes." Rose promised, averting her own gaze after pulling away the sealskin. All he had on was a backpack, for some reason...

Tentative, Poe opened first one eye, than the other, barely believing it when he looked down and saw legs, proper human legs, knees and ankles and a fine dusting of hair on his calves. “God...” Thunderstruck, he held one of his legs up and wriggled his toes, smiling when they responded the way fins would, albeit with a few more bones. This was new. “Goddamn. Thanks, Rose. I owe you big time.”

“Happy to help.” Rose smiled at him, making a valiant effort to keep her eyes somewhere appropriate. He was a bit too good looking, what with his sharp jawline and thick brown hair, not to mention his smile. In a bid to distract herself Rose glanced at the armchair and snorted, shaking Kes’ knee. “Mr. Dameron? Someone wants to say hi.”

“Hm?” Kes dragged one eye open and sat up, blinking at the naked guy sitting on his carpet. It wasn’t much to faze him, though. Weirder things had happened in his life. “Who’s that?”

“Take a fucking guess, dad." Poe cracked a grin, wrapping a blanket tight around his shoulders. “Been awhile."

“Too long.” Kes grinned and crouched, giving Poe's curls a fond ruffle before gathering him up in a tight hug. How many years had it been? Two decades, if Kes would venture a guess. “Fuck, I've missed you, kid." He shook his head and pulled back, inspecting every inch of Poe's face, drinking it it for the first time. "God, you look like your mother. I'll get you some clothes, alright? And a proper meal. You could do with one..." he added, getting to his feet and limping over to the bedroom. It was a bit of a brisk reception, but one of the things Poe did clearly remember about his dad was that affection was expressed with food rather than words. With him a meal equated a dozen hugs and kisses.

"Thanks, dad..." Once he got his bearings Poe grinned and propped himself against the couch, managing to heave himself upright after a couple tries and a lot of cussing. He teetered for a moment, then he managed to right himself, a slow smile spreading across his face as he stood up straight for the first time. A milestone he should have hit in infancy, sure, but a milestone nonetheless.

"They work?" Rose asked, turning her face up to smile at Poe. His dick was somewhat out, but she was opting to ignore that. "No numbness or anything?"

"They're perfect, kid. You're a miracle worker..." Poe grinned and gave her shoulder a squeeze, blinking when she pushed a grey cable knit pullover into his hands. "What's this?"

"Your skin." Rose paused for a moment. "Wait, that sounds real weird. Like, the seal skin. Charmed it to this form so you can change back and forth easier." she provided. "And it's way less conspicuous than carrying around a full pelt."

"That it is. Thanks, Rose." Poe tied it around his waist and grinned, wrapping it a bit tighter to cover his dick. He would have to get used to clothes... "I know another witch, actually. She's Skywalker's niece. Maybe you guys could meet sometime, exchange hexes or something."

"I...me? Meet a Skywalker?" Rose asked, suddenly looking rather startled. Poe understood, though. Rey had that effect on people, whether through reputation or just _her._ "Really?"

"I don't see why not. You can join one of our Mario Kart tournaments." Poe offered. While Rose processed that, her eyes going wide and jaw a bit slack, Poe pulled out the burner phone Finn had given him for his trip. It was a bit waterlogged, but still useable. Poe nibbled on his lower lip, biting back a smile when he thought of the look that would spread across Finn's face when he saw him walking for the first time, or standing at the altar in a few months. After another couple minutes spent revelling in that image Poe shook his head and dialled, whistling as it rang. Hopefully Finn was doing alright...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so its been a little while since the last update i have no excuse

**Author's Note:**

> idk man this is all the fault of other people i'm the victim here


End file.
